The Paskowitz family, considered to be the “first family of surfing” is comprised of 8 boys, 1 girl, and 2 parents. Dorian, the father, dropped out of mainstream society, raised and educated his children traveling from beach to beach in a 24 foot camper. The movie gives us a peek into the seemingly wonderful lives of these beach bums. Yet, the children tell stories of pain and struggle living in mainstream society. Something they were completely unprepared for as adults. Even though they admit the good moments far outweigh the bad, they are unable to shake the pain of sibling rivalry, control, aggression, and abuse. There are so many “ah-ha” moments. So many, “so close” moments. It’s easy to see why the children are in so much emotional pain, and where Dorian went wrong.
As I watched I couldn’t help thinking how different their lives would be if he applied mindful parenting to it all. If he knew of unschooling, and had the support from others like we do today, even if not in person.
So while I identified with Dorian tremendously, being out of place in mainstream society, wanting to keep your children away from school, wanting to be in “superior health”, unschooling has taught me so much about free will and choice. About how the complete absence of things like money, will only make my children crave or worry about it even more. I’ve heard some people call him narcissistic. But I don’t think so. I think he was abusive and controlling at best. Narcissism is an emotional issue.
Surfwise was inspiring. Thoughts immediately filled my head of my children, or travel, or living life now, of continuing my journey out of the mainstream. At the end of the film, looking back on his family Dorian Paskowitz said “A man learns to control himself before he controls his children.” He knew where he went wrong. I think we can all learn from his mistakes and know that our children need their free will. Whether they are in school or packed like sardines in a 24 foot camper, they need to be able to explore and to make their own decisions.
He also says: It is easier to die when you have lived, than if you haven’t. That’s a statement that will stick with me for a very long time. I want to live, like REALLY live.
How funny! I just watched this and had nearly the exact same thoughts as you had and the same phrases and comments stuck out in my mind.
I agree that one of the main downfalls was the lack of option for the family and the control factor from the father. I thought it was interesting how several of the kids are sending their own kids to school while others plan to completely reject school for their kids.
I also agree one of the problems for the kids is the lack of support from other people or a community of some sort and because of that they lack the knowledge of empowerment. They play the victim role, not understanding they have the option to learn *always* instead of thinking they have to do it by a certain age. I think had they not seen themselves as societal outcasts but had the mindset of empowerment without coercion, their viewpoint would be much different.
How funny that they viewed themselves as unsuccessful when they owned businesses, were in bands, won competitions, were in the film industry etc. None of them were the “bums” they said they were raised to be. They still viewed themselves by society’s standard regardless of the fact that they were made to virtually shunned society. The absence of something really does create an obsession of it.
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Just watched it, total awesomeness. I couldn’t agree with you more, the kids needed choices and free will and a whole lot of peaceful parenting.
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