It’s back to school week around here. At my house, it’s “Not Back To School Week”. This is the week I am reminded why my children stay home and why my children choose to stay home. My Facebook home page is filled with parent status updates like, “Back to school tomorrow! Can’t wait!” and “I’ll miss them little, for a couple days”. My personal favorite? Oh that’s the update where the parent asks, “Billy starts [insert grade level here], where did the time go?” Well… the the time is being sucked away by the public school system. For 13 years, all of these children are being shipped off into a system that has no real concern for their individual needs. They will eat when they are told. They will go to the bathroom when they are told. They will be told what to learn and when, and they can follow their passions after their homework is all done. They will be prevented from ever learning how to listen to their own bodies, and from learning to be true to their selves and their spirits. They will either “fit in” or be humiliated trying. And when they try and be true to themselves, to protect their inner being, when they try and get away from it they will be forced to “make nice” and sit next to the kid who bullied them. School is torture for the smart kid, the fat kid, the gay kid, the pimply kid, the weird kid, the active kid, the loud kid, and anyone else who stands out even the slightest, which eventually will happen to all of them. It amazes me how Libertarians use the word “sheeple” and then send their children off to school. Obviously, homeschooling is not for every parent, and their ARE great teachers (I happen to know a few) I get that. But when I start seeing status updates about parents being happy to not see their own flesh and blood for 8 hours a day for 9 months out of the year, it makes me cringe. I wonder if it’s a product of school, going along with the crowd, choosing to belittle their relationship (publicly) with their children because everyone else does.
This is what I found on my Facebook page this morning. I have heard something about it, but I hadn’t seen it yet. Watching this gives me a pit in my stomach. Sure, I get the joke. I just don’t think it’s funny. It also makes me reconsider shopping at Staples. Maybe you think that is too strong a reaction, but I think it’s my own personal boycott.
One part of me is glad for all the kids going back to school. It means less crowds and craziness where ever we go. but the other part of me? The other part of me is sad, especially watching my teenager brother and sister go back to school. I wish more kids understood their options. I wish I could give “The Teenage Liberation Handbook” to all teenagers, then they DECIDE how they are educated. I wish more parents knew their were more choices. So many people think it “has to be this way”. But it doesn’t. It really doesn’t. I can hug my kids whenever I want, everyday. My kids can hug me whenever they need to, everyday. I am more and more grateful every year for this wonderful lifestyle.
As I finish up this post, we are packing for the Northeast Unschooling Conference. Where children and their differences are celebrated. Where their needs are truly met, and truly supported. Then next month, we’ll be off to the Enjoy Life Unschooling Conference, where I’ve been asked to speak for the very first time. I am so excited but, terrified of speaking to a large group of people. I totally blame my public education.
Great post! Loved The Onion article, so much truth indeed.
I too am always confused when my friends are blissfully happy that the school year is starting up again. Some of them also don't know how they will 'make it through the summer'!? How strange and sad.
Wow, that video was ridiculous. Somehow gloating about getting rid of our kids is suppose to send them…what kind of message? That our younger generations are unwanted, unloved, a pain in the ass, annoying, inconvenient.
No wonder so many kids are depressed. I almost smirked when I saw the guy dancing down the aisle, until they showed the despondent kids following after him. Sometimes our culture disgusts me.
"They will eat when they are told. They will go to the bathroom when they are told. They will be told what to learn and when, and they can follow their passions after their homework is all done. They will be prevented from ever learning how to listen to their own bodies, and from learning to be true to their selves and their spirits."
The sad truth of the matter is that the vast majority of these children are being shipped to this place *from* a place not much better. I know of maybe five parents in real life who respect their children enough *not* to treat them as you've described. For the children, it's going from one authoritarian situation to another. My daughter has a cousin who started school this week and it was a relief for me to see it – school will be a welcome relief from her home life. Not overt abuse, just pure
What makes me sad is parents who love being around their children, parents whose hearts break thinking of sending their kids to school and DO IT ANYWAY. Good GAWD, people, there IS another way. I have two friends like this. AMAZING mothers who just can't break free of the 'system'. (In fact, these are the kind of women who would benefit from homebirth but use the same phrases to describe both – "You're so brave! I could never do that." "But what if there's a problem?" "I can't take that kind of responsibility")
Have fun! I wish we were closer to unschooling conferences.
I loved your post. This in particular rang so true for me "I can hug my kids whenever I want, everyday. My kids can hug me whenever they need to, everyday. I am more and more grateful every year for this wonderful lifestyle." I couldn't have said it better!
Do you think they notice? Do you think that the mainstream notices the differences in how we choose to treat our precious children? Part of me REALLY HOPES SO. Part of me knows they don't.
I ran some errands this morning before coming to NEU and I saw a few tiny little children getting their first knapsacks. All I could think was how weighted down they were about to be. Literally and figuratively.
Isn't it ironic that that the first day of school in my town is also the first day of NEU for us.
Awesome, awesome posts. I get those post on my facebook page as well, and it is such a good reminder for me. It's a real shame more families can't be this close, THIS happy. Can't wait to see you at NEU.II have been really digging your blog!
Speaking of the commercial: people, don't ever, ever, EVER imply that children are burdens. It's a psychologically damaging thing bringing self-loathing in many. You see that and only blame peer pressure, though parents give the most impact, since they're supposed to "love you". Peers (the bad ones) are supplements to the pain.
Of course, it's not about you guys. I'm grateful to find the antithesis to Back To School La La Land ("Antithesis" sounds like I'm talking of villains, but it's such an interesting word. How can I resist temptation?).
Okay, now to the positive. Doing your own education is great! I can have my neurons stimulated with meaningful things. Did it at school, but being out of school adds more will. Hahaha! The sleeping-in paid off. More sleep means the world to your body.
I so agree… I was appalled by that commercial too.
And then a partner at my husband's office wrote at the beginning of a memo addressed "To Everyone in the Technology Practice in Canada:"
"I hope you’re having a great summer, as I am, despite the weather. My kids came back from camp a week ago and I’m adjusting to parenthood again after seven (7!) weeks of relative freedom. Kids are great – but boy, what a great thing overnight camp is! "
Well said! We love NOT Back to School time.
Have fun at the NEU conference. We're close to heading down to San Diego for the Good Vibrations Unschooling Conference.
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Great post! Loved The Onion article, so much truth indeed.
I too am always confused when my friends are blissfully happy that the school year is starting up again. Some of them also don't know how they will 'make it through the summer'!? How strange and sad.
Love your blog!
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Wow, that video was ridiculous. Somehow gloating about getting rid of our kids is suppose to send them…what kind of message? That our younger generations are unwanted, unloved, a pain in the ass, annoying, inconvenient.
No wonder so many kids are depressed. I almost smirked when I saw the guy dancing down the aisle, until they showed the despondent kids following after him.
Sometimes our culture disgusts me.
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"They will eat when they are told. They will go to the bathroom when they are told. They will be told what to learn and when, and they can follow their passions after their homework is all done. They will be prevented from ever learning how to listen to their own bodies, and from learning to be true to their selves and their spirits."
The sad truth of the matter is that the vast majority of these children are being shipped to this place *from* a place not much better. I know of maybe five parents in real life who respect their children enough *not* to treat them as you've described. For the children, it's going from one authoritarian situation to another. My daughter has a cousin who started school this week and it was a relief for me to see it – school will be a welcome relief from her home life. Not overt abuse, just pure
What makes me sad is parents who love being around their children, parents whose hearts break thinking of sending their kids to school and DO IT ANYWAY. Good GAWD, people, there IS another way. I have two friends like this. AMAZING mothers who just can't break free of the 'system'. (In fact, these are the kind of women who would benefit from homebirth but use the same phrases to describe both – "You're so brave! I could never do that." "But what if there's a problem?" "I can't take that kind of responsibility")
Have fun! I wish we were closer to unschooling conferences.
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HERE HERE! Awesome thoughts!
My sister remembers looking at the clock in the second grade and thinking "11 more years"
So what if my house is a mess, my kitchen floor dirty and I have a mountain of laundry – I have happy joyful interesting curious wonderful kids!
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I loved your post. This in particular rang so true for me "I can hug my kids whenever I want, everyday. My kids can hug me whenever they need to, everyday. I am more and more grateful every year for this wonderful lifestyle." I couldn't have said it better!
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Do you think they notice? Do you think that the mainstream notices the differences in how we choose to treat our precious children? Part of me REALLY HOPES SO. Part of me knows they don't.
I ran some errands this morning before coming to NEU and I saw a few tiny little children getting their first knapsacks. All I could think was how weighted down they were about to be. Literally and figuratively.
Isn't it ironic that that the first day of school in my town is also the first day of NEU for us.
[Reply]
Awesome, awesome posts. I get those post on my facebook page as well, and it is such a good reminder for me. It's a real shame more families can't be this close, THIS happy. Can't wait to see you at NEU.II have been really digging your blog!
[Reply]
Speaking of the commercial: people, don't ever, ever, EVER imply that children are burdens. It's a psychologically damaging thing bringing self-loathing in many. You see that and only blame peer pressure, though parents give the most impact, since they're supposed to "love you". Peers (the bad ones) are supplements to the pain.
Of course, it's not about you guys. I'm grateful to find the antithesis to Back To School La La Land ("Antithesis" sounds like I'm talking of villains, but it's such an interesting word. How can I resist temptation?).
Okay, now to the positive. Doing your own education is great! I can have my neurons stimulated with meaningful things. Did it at school, but being out of school adds more will. Hahaha! The sleeping-in paid off. More sleep means the world to your body.
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I so agree… I was appalled by that commercial too.
And then a partner at my husband's office wrote at the beginning of a memo addressed "To Everyone in the Technology Practice in Canada:"
"I hope you’re having a great summer, as I am, despite the weather. My kids came back from camp a week ago and I’m adjusting to parenthood again after seven (7!) weeks of relative freedom. Kids are great – but boy, what a great thing overnight camp is! "
ugh!
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