To be able to sit with, talk to, and bounce ideas off of other unschooling parents is really necessary. You can’t unschool alone. People NEED people. Even me, a loner by nature. I like being home or at least alone. However, I KNOW that I need these other people. I need to see these children and I need to see my children interacting with other unschoolers. It’s important for me to be reminded why I’ve chosen this lifestyle in the first place. I cannot ever replace the friends I have made at these conferences. I have never felt so loving and so loved in my life. I’m sure my children feel the same way.
I cannot say enough good things about Unschooling Conferences. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’ve said it all before, in previous posts! There seems to be a lot of buzz about this year’s NEU Conference and the little bit of chaos that did seem to happen. In my opinion, it wasn’t all THAT bad. I was there when the piece of trim was broken, it was an accident and I’m not sure the teenager who broke it actually knew that he did it. I let someone know what happened but didn’t find it necessary to name names. There was a lot of running in the conference center, I didn’t think it was all that bad. I mean, seriously, isn’t that to be expected when you hold a conference for children? I did hear of some general meanness, which is quite unfortunate. Someone was swinging a small bag with rocks in it at some other children. It was addressed and there were no injuries that I know of. Oh, and the door knocking. Yeah, a disturbance for the other guests. I guess some people have taken to unparenting rather than unschooling? Is it possible that when all the children are going wild suddenly the newer parents think it’s “the norm” and allow their children as well?
The only thing I can say to that is, I wonder if these same people would allow their children the same freedoms if there was NOT an unschooling conference. Would they let their 6 year old girl meander about the hotel and use the elevator all by herself? If their children were running or screaming in the hallways, would they let them know they shouldn’t run or be loud because are sleeping after a certain time? Maybe that’s what it all looks like to a new unschooler at first glance so they just think they are going with the flow.
As far as people complaining about the state of the arts and crafts room or the game room or any other room… where is the initiative? I picked up the game room several times over the weekend. I saw a few parents doing the same. Not because I thought it should be clean, not because I felt the kids were too messy, but because it’s hard to play games with scattered pieces so I did my best to put them all back. Plus… I’m much better at cleaning than I am at playing games. It’s just like in my house. If the house is a wreck and the games are scattered and the art supplies are in disorder than they are much less likely to actually use them. So… I clean them up. I give them a fresh slate, a clean palette in which to create a new game or a new project.
It’s possible that next time a volunteer schedule might need to be organized. To help keep things less chaotic. It really is important for newbies to remember that your children are still YOUR responsibility. That we are still in a public space that has it’s own set of standards. That we are still interacting with the public. One thing we talk about in my home, is that just because we do not live with rules, doesn’t mean we don’t have to follow the rules or have respect for another person’s home or business. What a disservice to children to let them go on thinking that no rules means anything goes, anywhere.
Maybe it’s just me, but in reality I think most of what happened should be expected. You can only plan so much and help make it a safe and interesting place. From what I gather, there were no injuries, all the children are safe, there was no vandalism, and no horrible acts of disrespect. I COULD be wrong. There MAY be something I don’t know. Still, I had a WONDERFUL time. I recharged my batteries and am a better person for it. I had some eye rolling moments regarding some unparenting as it’s commonly referred to but, I still say it could have been worse. I can’t wait to see everyone soon! Enjoy Life is RIGHT around the corner!
First of all, we are all only pretending to love you
I totally agree about the messy rooms. If it was bothering people so much, clean it up!
I also agree that the unparenting shouldn't overshadow all the pluses. The connection, support, laughter.. .it was all so good.
Kathryn and Beth Rock and I hope my ramblings haven't left the impression that I am turned off by conferences as a whole. I could not be happier to be a part of them.
Oh, and we really do love you~it's true!
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totally agree with your post! Molly posted a link to your blog so i followed it so i could tell you that your wraps are awesome!!!! we are loving them (Zen and I). It was great to meet you at NEUC!
Rachel
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Yes, it could have been much worse. Now that a few days have passed, I really remember only the good people and that sense of peace, and knowing that I am living such a magical life with all these good folks. It was great to you see you and your family. Luckily, I am not going to be at the next conference at the end of this month, because it was very hard for me not to eat up that sweet baby of yours! Sad that I will miss your first talk ever!
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It was really awesome to meet you & your family. I think that M is fantastic (not to leave out S & P, but I didn't really see much of S & well, almost ALL babies are awesome, right!).
I really hope William & I didn't come off as "unparents"…Elijah is an extremely needy (and at times explosive) child. For us, things went WAY better than I had feared things would go, but not many know our story, so from the outside it might not look so good.
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Thanks for your comments guys!
Michelle it was totally awesome meeting you guys and Elijah! I totally get intense boys! Skylar has mellowed in his old age (ummm 11! LOL), but he was and in many ways still is a very intense and highly sensitive child.
I can't and wouldn't point fingers. I just think it's important to always keep the thought in my mind. That unschooling isn't unparenting. I wouldn't also hope that no one would ever judge parents by their children at unschooling conferences. We all have different stories and different histories. We are there to learn from and support each other in meeting their needs.
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We had an awesome time at the conference and I agree wholly with you about the game and craft rooms; if people were displeased with the scattered games/crafts then they could have helped to pick things up. I saw a few cases of unparenting that made me pause a little bit out of fear for the safety of little ones left without guidance but overall I thought it went smoothly.
oh, I wanted to share the pirate hat pics I took, in case you might get a kick out of them:
http://tiny.cc/l9CL0
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Julie I LOVE the photos! they are so great! It's really a neat effect to see them all together and how each person wears the hat a little differently. So cool!
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Hi Heather. Gary and I had a long discussion about this topic the other day after reading some of the other blog chatter going around. And now, reading your post, I have to wonder if Gary actually gave you the text, word for word! I mean, seriously, he said (and I agree with) pretty much everything you said here. We really enjoyed the conference, and we were happy to meet new folks and reconnect with others we met at last year's NEUC. I'm sorry we're going to miss the upcoming conference. It looks like it's going to be a great one!!
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I tend to be very aware of the difference between unschooling and unparenting. I feel like ppl who aren't unschoolers assume unschooling is unparenting and yet the truly dedicated unschoolers I've met are the furthest from unparenters.
Was that enough unwording for ya'll
lol.
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I'm glad you wrote this, because like Lori I had this conversation with my husband and he said pretty much the same thing. As for me, I guess I was too busy with my 5 months old to notice what else was going on because I wasn't aware of anything until I read it on Jean's blog.
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