“Please, please, PLEASE, PLEEEEEEEEEEEASE! Please, I said please!”

I love your article, don’t take it down it doesn’t come across wrong at all!

My eldest though saying it without me ever mentioning it because at that point she wasn’t saying much so we were surprised that she just started. They’re naturally polite girls, without being prompted they rarely forget and I haven’t ever really pushed them.

For a long time, I’ve felt uncomfortable with the rote demanding of please & thank you . . . but haven’t been sure what else to do. Even though I firmly believe in the ability of children to learn what they need, when they need it, and much of it from the examples of the adults around them, this aspect hadn’t made it through my scripting yet. Fear kept pushing back the gut feeling that I should do exactly as you do, not sure what would happen. Fear has been my biggest enemy as a parent . . . especially because I’ve stepped completely outside of the way I was raised in so many ways (both by my parents and by the school system).

This post shows clearly and plainly that the standard of politeness for children is the same for adults . . . and as it’s patently ridiculous to demand my husband or friend to “say please . . . “, it’s just as ridiculous to require my children to do so, as well.

There will always be readers who misunderstand–whether willfully or no–and it’s often misunderstandings that bring out the best opportunities for learning. The note you added at the end of this post had one of the most valuable bits for me: how you helped Milo understand what Shane’s girlfriend expected, giving him tools to handle such a situation in the future.

Thank you for taking the time to write this. I really appreciate it.

Instead, if they have done something wrong, that’s what they say. “Brandon, I was wrong for using my newly acquired wrestling skills on you.” *grin* Now, if he should feel sorry for his actions, he can freely say sorry.

My husband doesn’t subscribe to this school of thought or the other one I have about favors. He thinks favors are more like contracts and needs to be quid pro quo. But, he’s still in a training phase