I’ve been sick for the last week or so. I must have picked something up from the UWWG, since I started feeling badly as soon as I got home. I will affectionately label this one as the “conference crud”. At least one of us gets it after each conference. I’ve been so tired, and not really wanting to do more than sit on the computer and veg out. With these three boys, you can only imagine what our home looks like! Our basement, which also happens to be the playroom, looked like someone had turned it upside down and shook it out onto the floor. Not getting it? Let me see if I can help you conjure up a nice visual. OK so, our playroom, ate your playroom and then vomited all over my house. How’s that?
I am feeling so much better today, thanks to the passing of time and possibly Dana Ellis’ magic soup (that she hand delivered, along with some of her fine coffee – how’s THAT for service)! I went into the basement this morning knowing I was going to finally clean it, and I wound up thinking about how in years past cleaning a house this size (2100 sq. ft.) would have completely overwhelmed me. I might have done it, but not without complaining, possibly some whining, and certainly not without bitching about the mess to whichever family member happened to be lucky enough to be within earshot. I’ve learned that in order to not become overwhelmed with the housecleaning, I needed to make it more manageable. There are a few things I do in my home that help me tremendously.
Shelves, bins, and baskets. I don’t really like the word messy. I haven’t come up with anything better, but when you are home a lot, things get messy, really messy. It’s a lived-in house. Parents who send their children to school have a much easier time keeping their house clean because no one is *in* the house all day. All over my house there are shelving units, bins, and baskets. Personally, I like it when everything has its own place. It’s the only way I feel organized. Granted, nothing seems to ever BE in its place but, at least it HAS a place! Having lots of shelves, bins and baskets ensures that the toys always have a place to go, and I can keep the clutter organized. It also makes for a super fast clean-up if and when I need to.
Space Management. It’s overwhelming to look at an entire house or an entire playroom and think about the house cleaning that needs to be done. When I went downstairs this morning to pick up, I started in one corner and worked my way through the room. I work from the top down and in 3ft. x 3ft. squares. No, I don’t get out a measuring tape, I just sort of visualize a small square to clean and I clean it. Then, I move on to the next square. By cleaning small chunks at a time, I feel productive and I can actually *see* the cleaning that is happening vs. running all over the room picking up random objects. When I clean that way, I become overwhelmed and easily frustrated because nothing ever seems to look any different!
Vacuum as you go (or sweep or dust): After I’ve cleaned a space I tend to vacuum (or sweep) it. Even if it’s a little space. It helps motivate me to keep going and there is no reason a small part of the room can’t look nice. I do the same for shelves or the kitchen counters. I clean, square by square, and after a few squares I wash the shelves. They always look so nice and shiny. I need that instant gratification, even if tiny.
Know your limits. Everyone is different. I can clean all day, some people can only clean for short periods of time. Flylady has the greatest idea of using 15 minute timers for cleaning. For people who absolutely hate cleaning, picking something small, and setting a timer for 15 minutes is a great idea. This doesn’t work for everyone, and Flylady sends out so many emails a day, her program isn’t realistic for everyone. When I start feeling frustrated or fed-up, that’s my cue to stop cleaning and find something enjoyable to do for awhile before I go back to it. There is no hard and fast rule that I have to clean in a bad mood.
Change your perspective: When my house is especially cluttered, I think to myself that the kids must have been learning a lot. When the dishes are all dirty, I think about how much they’ve grown and I break out the paper stuff instead. When the laundry is piled up high, I am thankful the kids are changing into clean clothes! My house has people in it. Happy, busy people who leave things everywhere. I am thankful they are here. I always feel it’s a good idea to set myself up for success. When I find myself seeing housework as drudgery then I find a way to make it pleasant. Music is one of my best cleaning tools. Some people love scented candles, or nice smelling cleaner. Maybe you want some nice soft cleaning rags. At the UWWG, I heard Kelly Lovejoy recommend to someone who didn’t like washing dishes, getting some nice dishes, something you love that is nice to touch and wash. That is a GREAT idea. Make the experience pleasurable and you will find it easier to change your perspective. Mary Poppins wasn’t wrong when she said, “In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun”.
Lower your expectations: Especially when kids are little! We are home a lot more, our home is USED for a lot more. I allow it to be “lived in”. Perfectly neat and tidy homes are boring anyway.
Whenever I’m feeling negative about something, I stop and ask myself, Why? Why am I feeling this way? Many of us were brought up with forced chores and/or the ideal that the house *must* be clean and that has left so many of us with feelings of resentment or anger over the housework. But WHY should housecleaning be so negative? By cleaning, I am expressing love for my home, love for my family, and love for myself. I truly believe the more work I put in when they are little the less I’ll be doing when they are older. I’m already seeing evidence of that with my eleven year old, who is more and more happy to help out when I need him to. It’s hard when they are little to keep a tidy home but, they will grow up someday and I might miss them being little.
If you have any tips that make housework more efficient or enjoyable, I’d love to hear them.
Hi it’s me your biggest fan and stalker-geez, I’m embarrassed that I am the first to comment!
Anyways-I am a bit of a neat freak so letting go of the “mess” (evidence of happy, busy kids) is often times really hard for me. Mostly because I know that I like to work in a clean space so I feel like they should have a clean space too. But I can make myself crazy and become overwhelmed with the amt of clean up. I have found that keeping our schedule clear for Thursday (funny that’s today) mornings gives me a date with housekeeping. That way I don’t fret that the bathrooms are dirty on Tuesday or that there is an inch of dust on the piano on Sunday-I let it go until Thursday. I know it will get done then. It helps also if I do some preliminary pick up Wed night so I can actually get to some cleaning on Thursday since the putting all the little parts and pieces back could take all day!!! I don’t want to spend time cleaning on the weekends when my husband is home-that way we have time to play! I have made some of my own cleaning supplies and I love the way they smell so that helps too! Ok I’ll stop here since this is your blog and not mine!
My kids were sick this week too. I don’t like to think of all the germs breeding in that warm moist waterpark-ewwww!! Also-loved your guest post.
Glad you liked the magic soup!
I love IKEA for cheap and nice looking shelving units! What would I do without them?
NONE of mine are form IKEA. There is no IKEA in VT. Booo!!! But when I get a few extra dollars and I decide to get “stylish” then IKEA is where I’ll be found. Regularly. LOL!
Kristen, I tried doing that one day thing… so not for me. Especially when I found myself doing 46 loads of laundry in one day! Glad it’s working for you though! One thing I’m thinking about doing is trying to have an half an hour or an hour where I clean up with TJ each evening. I have a couple kids who will not let anything go so the toys and the clutter just pile up fast!
Thanks so much for posting, Heather! I agree, bins and baskets are life savers. I definitely need more shelf space in my “extra room/office space”. A couple of things work for me…first I like to keep my sink clear as much as possible, and I do the laundry as the hampers fill. Not every day anymore.
Throughout the day I do periodic sweeps of toys, etc. When I slack for a couple of days, I just start picking up as I walk through the house, putting a little bit away at a time. I prefer to vacuum when I have picked up as that is motivating to me. I find when I can keep my sink clear and keep up with the laundry, the rest falls into place! Thanks again! We miss you in VT! 
2100 sq. ft–that’s a lot to keep up with with three young children home most of the day! I enjoyed hearing your perspective on how you keep up and still keep your sanity, lol.
Yes…Bins, Boxes, Baskets! This is where most everything resides in our house. And they make pick-ups quick and easy…even for the kids when they feel like joining in.
In addition, tables/surface space other than the floor help us a lot. Derek graciously gave up his wood working table for the winter to use as a lego table in our living room. We also have a coffee table w/ shelf for books and games we are currently busy with. Another table holds magazines and lamp next to reading chairs, and a small shelf and kid-sized table hold art supplies and projects-in-the-works (all this in our living room/dining room). This way the floor stays fairly cleared (or at least easy to clear) for all the dancing, swinging, and running that goes on
and the kitchen table has enough space for eating and bananagrams.
Our house is definitely lived-in…and changing my perspective on “neatness” has helped me let go of a lot of the anxiety I *inherited* revolving around cleanliness.
I really miss seeing you guys every Wednesday. Park days here aren’t so regular. I’m hoping that will change when the rainy season passes. The floor! Oh man. the floor. I’m not sure there is any help for my floor. LOL! But yeah picking up things as I walk like Amy said, if I didn’t do that… holy crap. I can’t even imagine. LOL
Amy come clean my sink. Please?
I don’t love to clean, but I do like a clean house. I’ve learned to let go of alot over the years,especially since having kids. Like you said, my house is lived in, and it looks like it. I don’t even have a set schedule for anything. Laundry goes in the wash and dryer the same day, but I don’t fold it and put it away until the next day. Honestly, sometimes it sits for days before I get around to folding it. I HATE doing the dishes. You would think I wouldn’t mind much now since we have a dishwasher. I love the idea of buying dishes that I love to touch and look at. We could use more baskets and bins around the house. We’re limited on storage space here, so I’m looking for the biggest toy box I can find, and a nice big book shelf.
I am sooo guilty of letting the laundry sour in the wash (several times) before it hits the dryer. Shhh!
I so needed this post today. I have a hard time with the “mess” due to our small space. We have 7people(5kids) in about 1100sqft. The livingroom doubles as the play room, our room doubles as my sewing space with a few toys in there for when the kids want to be with me. Right now our dining room table is doubling as my husbands drafting table! It gets chlaustrophobic for me. I am working on my emotions about it though because I have been like you described in the beginning..whining, griping etc. I’m not there yet it’s is definitely a work in progress. My youngest 3 are 5,3 and 1 and while I’m working in one space they are exploring another.LOL I do clean like you described and thought I was weird for vacuuming before the entire space was done…but like you said I can SEE the progress when I do that and it helps keep the overwhelmed feelings I have at bay. So again, thank you!
You are so welcome! Thank you for reading! Our first home was 972 square feet and we had 2 kids. I felt cramped so I can only imagine how you are feeling. When I moved here I met someone with 2 children in 672 square feet. Spaces that small were so foreign to me but, it left me feeling very grateful for the space we do have, even though the mess is bigger now! Wall shelves are a necessity in a small space! I love walls full of shelves. They say so much about a family when they are all filled up with *stuff*!
I just have to say there are some housekeeping things I don’t enjoy and some I really do. Dusting? Not for me (as evident by the dust MONSTERS on the shelves when we moved them). But vacuuming? I love it! It’s like instant gratification!
So maybe my tip is to find something that gives you some sense of pleasure or happy accomplishment and save it for last.
Bathrooms. I hate cleaning bathrooms. If we had the funds, I’d totally hire someone to clean my bathrooms! I don’t think buying a prettier toilet would solve my issues either.
I firmly believe that if they can invent a self cleaning oven they can most certainly come up with a self cleaning toilet.
Thanks for the encouragement….I am hoping for a trip to Ikea for some shelves and baskets next week.
OHH, how I struggle with this one. One ADD slob husband, four kids who take after papa and one disorganized mama with a bad back leads to a house that’s messier than anybody’s lax standards are okay with. I’m tired of friends walking in & looking horrified, even though they help me pick up. I’m tired of worried about somebody calling CPS about it. I’m tired of nobody else in the house remembering that leaving things on the floor makes it hard for me to walk across the room without falling or that leaving old food/trash/choking hazards around is unsafe for the baby. I’m tired of everybody making it out that I’m a neat freak when the house is humiliatingly filthy all the time. I really get the concept of lived in means they’re learning, but does that need to mean disgusting? I’m the stay home mom, I get that I’m expected to do some of this, but when did I become a maid obligated to scrub the toilet half a dozen times a day because the boys can’t be bothered to aim or wipe up? I could go on and on. We’re moving in a few weeks and i’m throwing/giving away half our stuff because I can’t live like this anymore.
My suggestion: do not compare your house with anyone else’s. Unless theirs is messier.
No, seriously, though– I have a couple of friends with small children whose homes are absolutely immaculate. Sometimes I visit them, or even just look at pictures taken in their homes, and feel defeated. Angry, even!
And this, even though I’m actually generally satisfied with the state of my house. No garbage– the laundry is washed, dried, and mostly put away every day, and we start each morning with clean dishes and a shiny sink, a la Flylady. lol.
Sure, my carpets are stained and my mantel is dusty, but I don’t actually much care about that. And my husband REALLY doesn’t care; he was raised by a neat freak and has no interest in spotlessness for its own sake.
Anyway. I have a lot of interests and hobbies that aren’t housework-related and that generate their own messes… would I like to amputate my sewing or gardening skills for the sake of perfectly organized closets?
Heck no!
Sandra, I would totally do a major, massive purge in your case. Housework is really impossible if there are piles of junk everywhere. Hold your ground if anyone complains “you’re getting rid of my STUFF!” Because are they cleaning up their precious stuff? nooooo! lol
I can’t leave this alone.
Hold your ground if anyone complains “you’re getting rid of my STUFF!” Because are they cleaning up their precious stuff? nooooo!
Let me pose the question: What right does anyone in the world have to get rid of another persons “stuff” without their permission?
Then let me answer the question: They don’t.
I’m surveying my living room – complete with piles of stuff that need to be returned to their homes (it’s been a long week) – and reading this (having reached a state of wondering whether I will EVER manage to keep my home clean and tidy and we don’t even have kids yet) makes me feel a whole lot better. I think in today’s world a lived in home has to be better for everyone than a spotless one. One it really is a home then (not an institution) and two mom/dad actually gets time to spend with the kids, or when you haven’t any, with each other.
So thanks girls for the encouragement to keep at it and remember that it’s a work in progress. I must say I rather like the idea of keeping a day to do it – that means you can leave it and know it will happen, I’ve been trying to do it in the evenings during the week so I have the weekends free – but it never feels completely tidy/clean all at the same time then… and you’re always doing cleaning/tidying of some sort or another.
I’m glad this post helped some without kids! That’s so cool. When I think back to before kids, I can remember messes being overwhelming even then. I’ve changed my perspective and chosen not to let it get to me anymore. Occasionally it does, but it’s so much easier to get past it now.