Oh boy. Have you been misled. I enticed you in with that nice little title, and I bet you had visions of me sitting down with my family making a nice batch of specialty ice cream. Wrong. But since your here, there is no sense in leaving right?
I am surrounded by men. I married one. I birthed three of them. I moved across the country to be closer to one. Do you have any idea what that is like? It was always cool. I saw women from time to time. Then we moved and I see women on a practically never basis. And when I do it’s not for nearly long enough.
Being surrounded by men means, UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship) at least once a week. It means a lot of farting. Not just regular farting, like push it out and see how loud you can get it farting. It also means sarcasm and wrestling and weapons making and broken bones and a one hell of a lot of testosterone. It means pee in the toilet, on the toilet, and around the toilet. If your Milo, your current aversion to girls even extends to your mom! It means penis jokes, more poop jokes than I can handle and it means I feel slightly outnumbered. Please, it’s not that I’m *trying* to stereotype, but there *are* 5 of them and they *are* boys all from *my* family.
So, what happens when a local artisan ice cream shop holds a flavor contest? You don’t know? Well, take a look at these ingredients and see if you can guess.
Chocolate Ice Cream.
Crispy Bacon
Peanuts
Corn
Red Pepper Flakes (not shown)
Yep, it’s poop.
Cold Crap Cream. Frozen Feces Ka-ka on a Cone. Shit Sherbert…
Sorry, I just can’t go on. It’s so entertaining, yet so completely revolting.
So, we sat down to mix together or flavors and guess who’s recipe is the one we are entering? Yep, mine. Turns out these boys are rubbing off on me. And I almost forgot to tell you… it really tasted quite nice, especially with that little bit of spice.
Nope. Nothing is sacred, nor taboo in my house.
I hear you, and I feel for you! My boys are fond of the Shit Sherbert name, FYI.
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Heather Reply:
March 26th, 2010 at 3:46 pm
I can’t even read that without laughing!
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Gives a whole new meaning to pooper scooper
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Heather Reply:
March 26th, 2010 at 5:22 pm
@Arp – You *are* in fact male.
But seriously, it WAS good and if you want to try it out I can give you the ratios. 
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I can totally read without laughing. This isn’t funny – this shit looks like it tastes *good*
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that’s about the most gross thing i’ve seen today – but the night is young and i’m off to the birthday party for an 11 yr old boy so ya never know
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Is their an emoticon for vomit? If there is and I had it, it’d be all over this comment.
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Heather Reply:
March 26th, 2010 at 6:01 pm
Oh god. I know. LOL
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My old high school has an annual garlic fest and I’ve always wanted to try the garlic ice cream offered there. otoh, I firmly believe that bacon & chilies can improve anything.
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Heather Reply:
March 26th, 2010 at 6:35 pm
It’s true. I agree. Our local ice shop actually has a chocolate covered bacon, peanut butter, and banana ice cream. I think they call it the King Memphis or something like that.
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Oh, gosh-it is SO nice to know I’m not the only one living in Man World! :~D On one hand, the farting and fart jokes grew stale long, long ago (remember, Dave and I were married for 13 years before Wyl came along! :~D ), on the other hand, Wyl is supremely proud that his mama can make some of the loudest, rudest fart sounds with just her two hands and her mouth. ;~)
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Heather Reply:
March 27th, 2010 at 9:41 pm
@De – I admit… I have some unladylike talents myself and I tend to throw around f-bombs a little too much. *wink*
@kristen – Try it! LOL
@Cid – Oh I feel so validated! Can I say that I was looking forward to it too? I can’t believe Hardy didn’t tap!!! Man… what an idiot. His arms must be WRECKED!
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That’s the second time this week I have read about bacon and ice cream–hmm I think I smell a trend coming on!!
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Heather, I am laughing my ass off… and so happy to be in good company. I keep candles handy to burn if someone shows up unannounced, because my house smells like methane, dirty socks/unders, sweaty boys/man… and that’s when it’s CLEAN!! I have a feeling my boys are going to have to try out your excremental ice cream recipe
Peace & Abundance, Cid (who is looking forward to the big UFC event tonight, lol)
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