Disclaimer: If school isn’t compulsory, or forced by some means whether government or parent, then this post is null and void. Unfortunately for most children, that’s the case and this post holds true to its word.
Compulsory schooling is a prison for children. If it wasn’t compulsory, who would go to school as it stands now? Aside from the obvious fact that they are *forced* to go, these 10 comparisons immediately come to mind.
1. Children are forced to wake up before their bodies are ready and be ready and alert for studying, the ultimate in sleep deprivation.
2. Children require permission to use the toilet taking away their sense of responsibility for their own body.
3. Kid’s mealtimes are scheduled and timed, leaving hungry or stuffed, rarely nourished children.
4. The students are segregated into groups (according to age and “smarts”) causing in-house conflict. The more in-house conflict the less likely it is that students lash out at teachers. A similar divisive tactic is used in prisons to keep prisoners from lashing out at guards according to an ex-convict consultant for the Stanford Prison Experiment.
5. Free or play time is highly restrictive and limited, especially as the child gets older. Studies say that play and free time is a necessary part of childhood development. Too much free time for children might be dangerous for school.
6. The one’s who do not conform, through no fault of their own, are often drugged
7. Campus police officers are now stationed at most schools. This indoctrinates our youth with authority and does not exhibit trust, or promote responsibility.
8. Metal Detectors and searches violate a student’s right to privacy and will probably do little to keep them safe according to a study done by federal researchers.
9. Students are now often arrested in addition to being suspended for minor crimes.
10. School’s are commonly equipped with security cameras, sometimes even in the bathrooms, yet the effectiveness of these is constantly in question. According the documentary The War on Kids, security cameras were installed before the Columbine shooting and did nothing to prevent it from happening.
In school children are humiliated and dehumanized. Over the course of 12 years (and often times more) they slowly lose their individuality by a failed system of education. It’s maddening and it’s a crime upon their intelligence. Teachers don’t become teachers by accident, at some point in their lives, they wanted to teach. Have you asked a teacher lately how much time they spend teaching versus time spent keeping order? Only 20% of the time is actually spent on task according to Homeschooling for Excellence. It breaks my heart to know that we do this to our children so young, that they accept this system of forced learning and measurement as if the only way to succeed, to be someone, is to go to school. They don’t know there is any other way.
“The philosophy of the school room in one generation will be the philosophy of government in the next.” -Abraham Lincoln
I don’t know what context Abraham Lincoln said this in, but this statement is more accurate than if I took an arrow and jammed it into the bulls eye with my bare hands. It’s like the whole country has a form of Stockholm’s Syndrome. That’s the psychological state where a hostage becomes sympathetic to their captor. Did anyone really know what to expect when we grew up? Did we know a damn thing about ourselves? Sixteen years of captivity left nothing but a giant country of people who don’t think for themselves and are sympathetic toward the prison that we call school.
- schools keep asking for money, and we keep giving it to them, even though enrollment is down and no amount of money has them meeting their own mediocre standards
- schools punish children in unthinkable ways, but we don’t know what else to do about it, except punish them more
- school invades kids privacy and creates distrust, parents think they need to hover more instead of less
- school tells us our children are learning disabled, behaviorally challenged, and failures and the people accept it. More and more I hear stories of children who are drugged with mind altering medications in order to make them conform.
Why?
The school took care of us. It fed us, it educated us, it cared for us. We sympathize with the school, it must be right, look at us. We’re fine. [pause for effect] Wrong! The people are NOT fine. They are former prisoners, empathizing with their captor. Could I say that any stronger or clearer? Schools don’t trust children. They wedge themselves right in between children and their families and create turmoil within the family. Compulsory schooling comes from a place that believes children are inherently bad and stupid. I personally know of no such place. Children are amazingly brilliant and self aware, so long as they are given the chance to grow and be who they are. My guess is that not many people understand what children are *really* like. Not many people understand that just because they weren’t given the chance, doesn’t mean their own children shouldn’t be given a chance. Most of us come into adulthood with a lifetime of unmet needs, which are bound to show up at one time or another.
Break Free from Captive Thinking
Captive thinking is limited and has arbitrary rules. It’s what holds us back and keeps us from trying new things. Captive thinking says children must go to school, parents must work from 9-5, and obedience is the key to life. It’s a sham.
1. Be your child’s parent; not your parent’s child. It’s easy to get all wrapped up emotionally when something is amiss at home. Breathe. Take a step back. It’s not personal, chances are it’s natural. I’ve had my children home from school for 5 years now and I’m still surprised by their honesty and authenticity. I was trained to hold it all in, and I do a damn good job of that. Quit throwing tantrums when things don’t go your way. Stop acting like the messy house, the dirty laundry, and the strewn toys are some sort of personal vendetta against you. I know it’s hard, especially when you probably never had the chance to *be* a child, but it’s worth it. You can’t believe how liberating it is to treat your child the way you and all children ought to be treated.
2. Be Confident. School might tell you to be confident, but it does absolutely nothing to promote confidence. Be confident in what your doing. Far Beyond the Stars blogger, Everett Bogue said on Twitter today, ” You can’t be afraid of failure if failure doesn’t exist (and it doesn’t).” *SLAP* I needed that! I’ve been having kind of a hard time lately, and I had forgotten all about the time I was feeling like this: I suggest that failure doesn’t exist. It only exists in the minds of those who project it and those who fear it. Failure is a state of mind, not a fact.
3. Trust yourself. You must trust in yourself, before you can truly trust in your child. John Holt said it best when he said “most of us were taught as children, that we could not be trusted.” You are a brilliant human being, trust yourself! You can learn, and you can know. Trust yourself to move forward with honesty and conviction. Allow your world to open up before you, the moment you embrace inner trust. It’s easy to trust yourself if you don’t have to find yourself deciding between what you feel is right and what you learned was right. Like bumper stickers everywhere, Exercise Your Right To Think For Yourself.
4. Create Your Destiny. Stop listening to the naysayers, to the one who seeks to limit your knowledge and to the ones who say you can’t do it. Want to hop in an RV and travel with your family? Trust that you’ll find a way and make it happen. Want to move across the country and start a business? We trusted ourselves and the process and we did it. It’s happening. Without trust, it would be nothing more than a dismal thought in the drawer labeled, “wish I had…”
5. Think Dangerous Thoughts. In my mind, dangerous thinking is smart thinking. Take all those thoughts of things you aren’t supposed to think, and THINK about them. School is prison. It’s a dangerous thought, and it’s primarily what school doesn’t want you to think. If your kids aren’t in school, I’m betting they are thinking a lot of dangerous thoughts! This amazing world has so much to offer. Why lock them away in a building until they are 18? Why?
“How could youth better learn to live than by at once trying the experiment of living?” -Henry D. Thoreau
Rue, thank you so much for your thoughtful response. It confirms exactly what I’ve been saying and I think got lost – if parents are actively involved and really pay attention to what makes their children light up with fascination and curiosity and expose their children to all these things, I’m sure amazing things can happen – and have. The key to raising happy, healthy, amazing adults is in active parenting, regardless of the type of schooling they receive. I truly believe if you follow your heart and passion and what makes you thrive you will be successful, whether you learned algebra or not. If your life doesn’t call for the need to learn algebra, what’s the point? Your kids sound amazing, as do you. And I happen to think I have amazing grandchildren who happen to be be unschooled by the writer of this post. I have embraced unschooling and am putting all my trust in the process. Like you said, only time will tell, their are pros and cons to any situation and it’s a very personal choice. Ultimately it’s the parents responsibility to stay “tuned in” so their children can become the amazing individuals they are meant to be.
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This Kool-aid’s great, Heather! Thanks for sharing <3
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Tara, I couldn’t agree with you more. I never said schools help this problem, or create it. What I’ve been saying all along is the system you choose to inspire, or “educate” your child is moot. It’s the involvement of the parents that is essential and what type of environment the child is exposed to.
You are correct, my FIL was a victim of his environment, as we all are really, and his limitations were caused by the small world he was exposed to by his parents. They were farmers and he was taken out of school at an early age to help on the farm. That’s all they knew so that’s all he was capable of learning. He was not exposed to things that would encourage or inspire reading, thus he never knew how. And by the time he was old enough to realize and wanted to know how and tried to learn by desire, it was so difficult he gave up. As a child he had no idea what opportunities and life experiences were available to him beyond what he was exposed to. So all I’m trying to say is that in order for a child to achieve his full potential and happiness, a variety of choices and opportunities need to be made available to him, which I believe is what you are saying also. A child’s limitations are going to be ultimately caused by the parent’s ability to expose them to “life”. I’m not saying it isn’t successful, or that it’s wrong, just that for anything to be successful, it needs to be actively implemented. If a child’s curiosity is in how things are put together and seems to have all the curiosities that an engineer or an architect would have, or has a passion for drawing and interest in art, but he is only ever exposed to a world of agriculture, how would his potential ever grow? In other words, if he isn’t exposed to a text-rich environment how would he know about reading? We only know what we know. So as you say, we must create a rich, inspiring environment.
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Wow, what an amazing post, Heather–I’m so glad you commented or I might not have read this today. And the comments are quite amazing also, (some are rather horrifying) –yours and Deb’s analogy to the Stockholm Syndrome resonates so well it gives me shivers. How many of us, having survived compulsory school have couched our recollections regarding our experience in the language of trauma? I’m thinking it’s a lot of us. Spot on, that. Oh, I wish, I wish, for non-compulsory school. How great an idea is that? My kids (both unschooled since birth) would most certainly love to go here and there, pick up a little of this and that, see friends, strewing as needed. I mean, we pay taxes on public building only some of the public uses for only half a day, anway. Wouldn’t it be great if everyone could avail themselves of a truly central, open, resource-rich, community learning center? That would be very cool.
A great read, Heather, I’ll be passing it along for sure.
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Heather Reply:
April 12th, 2010 at 7:26 am
Rights Adults have, but children in compulsory school (and many in their homes do not)
- the right to free speech
- the right to safety from violence
- to be innocent until proven guilty
- to vote
- to seek “asylum” in the school treats them badly
- to think freely
- to believe and practice religion of choice
- to choose method of education
- to sleep when they are tired
- to eat when they are hungry and take as much or as little time doing so
- to use the facilities without asking
- the right to play when they feel like playing
- from a John Taylor Gatto quote, the right to not sit and listen to poetry when they would rather be learning construction and the right to not sit and listen to lessons on construction when they’d rather be learning poetry.
- the right to not be drugged
- the right to privacy
I’m sure there are many more. these are the first to come to mind.
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If a child is never tested or asked to do something that they ‘don’t want to do’ how do they learn discipline?
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Heather Reply:
April 12th, 2010 at 7:59 pm
There are so many definitions of discipline, but I think you mean the act of self-discipline. I don’t think that a rigorous academic career full of testing and mundane tasks will necessarily produce an adult who is self-disciplined. In many cases quite the opposite happens. How many undisciplined people do you know? I know a lot! I’m betting they all went through the school system.
The best way for me to show my children some self-discipline is to *be* self disciplined. Over the course of a child’s life, so many events happen that provide ample opportunity and experience in self-discipline. You can’t get it by force. The person has to *want* to be disciplined and there are also so many varying degrees of that. It comes from having choices, maintaining control over your own body, and living a good life.
Still, what kind of self-discipline are you looking for? There are so many areas of my life that I am not disciplined at all, cleaning my room, … but I’m perfectly OK with that. Any grown life learner that I have met, that exhibits any sort of self-discipline in a particular area does so by choice and usually out of passion or love for what they are doing or learning.
Hope that helps answer your question.
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Thank you for this post, Heather! I’ll be bookmarking it, and adding it to my stockpile of ammunition.
I don’t judge others for sending their children to public school, although it does break my heart for a couple of the kids that really struggle there, so I still don’t understand why public school parents seem so eager to judge us. I love my life. My son learns every day. Our family is happy, healthy, and loved. Life is good.
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I don’t believe that anyone can learn self discipline from another, its self taught. Its doing something when you may not want to that day. There are days that I have not wanted to go to work but I pull myself up and go because I need to. My kids never see that, they just know that I go. There are plenty of times that you will be asked to do something that you do not want. I believe that life is about repetitions-meaning that you have to do something over and over to get good at it. Easy example is that Miley Cyrus girl. I read an interview with her and that is not a standard 16 year old. Off the charts for age maturity and that is because she has done a lot of living in her years. You can’t start being polite as a 15 year old and you can just develop a work ethic at the age of 21.
And Cam, I find it ironic that you state that you don’t understand why parents who send their kids to public school judge you on a blog post that states sending kids public school is akin to sending them to prison.
But remember this is coming from a prison guard since I expect my children to ask me if they can go to the bathroom when we are out in a public place since I don’t think that a 6 year old should be roaming a mall, a store or a restaurant by themselves.
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Heather Reply:
April 13th, 2010 at 7:08 am
@Billy – You say that self-discipline is self taught and that people must do things they don’t want to do in the same paragraph. So it *is* self-taught? Or others need to force you into it? I am misunderstanding that part. It is perfectly fine to ask children to do things they might not want to do. My problem is “forcing” them to do things they don’t want to do, by means of fear of failing or punishment. As an adult you have made a *choice* to get up every day, go to work and provide for you family. A very noble cause indeed.
My husband does the same and we are all very thankful for him. He does not do this because of years of “training in doing things he doesn’t want to do”. He does it because he loves what he does, and he loves us. This is the way we have chosen to live as a family, for now.
I am polite to my children. I speak nicely to them, as I would anyone else. I say please and thank you to them. I say please and thank you in front of them. We discuss opportunities for being polite and why certain people feel it’s important. Last night, my 5 year old demanded a glass of milk from me and in a not so nice way. I glanced over at him surprised by his manner and he suddenly sat up straight, smiled and said “I’m sorry, could you please get me a glass of milk.” He changed it because he *wanted* to. He wants to fit in, he wants to please, and he wants to be nice to his mommy. After all his mommy is very nice to him. Sure… I could have been forcing him to be polite and say his pleases for the past five years, but through gentle reminders, conversation, and real life experience he found it within himself. That was an very authentic please.
Concerning work ethic. I want my children to do what brings them joy. They do not have to be rich. They do not have to be successful by anyone’s terms but their own. Whatever that may be. Options today are unlimited and I feel that school limits them greatly.
Please remember. That if school was not compulsory and children had a choice whether to go or not, this article never would have been written. If it were an option, I am sure it would be a much better place.
I want my little ones to “let me know” when they need to use the toilet. That is a matter of personal safety! I can see that this lifestyle may seem like a free for all. But I assure you it is not. Safety is of the utmost importance. I am also of the opinion that small children in public restrooms, on elevators, or roaming unfamiliar places is not safe.
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I believe people learn self discipline by finding the inner strength to push themselves into or pull themselves back from something. NOT by being forced to do/be certain things. Being forced doesn’t equal self-discipline to me – it might equal obedience to authority (which I can accept being a valid thing to learn at times) but if you are being forced to do something and the rule/person/object doing the forcing is removed you will likely then not do that thing –
If you find you really want to learn how to build a fort, bake a cake, write a story, then you will ‘force’ yourself to gather the skills and/or mentorship needed to accomplish this goal – that, to me, is self-discipline.
If you discover that eating a whole package of Oreos in one sitting makes you sick you will likely not eat the whole package next time to avoid feeling sick – that is also self-discipline
The word ‘self’ here being that the self is directing the actions or lack thereof – no outside force – the self is disciplining the self
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The toilet comment was in regard to your comments about kids in school asking for permission to go to the bathroom. It is a safety issue at schools just like it is when they are out with me.
As for your lifestyle being a free for all, honestly, I don’t know much about it and I truly don’t care. Its not my kids and everyone can choose what they want to do if they feel it is right for them. Your writing ability is quite impressive so I infer that you either quite intelligent or maybe have that gift. I don’t know anything about you and I truly don’t care. Again, not my family, so I am apathetic to it.
My issue with your article is really an attack on my lifestyle. We send our kids to Catholic schools and we and the kids love it. they skip off to school and love to come home with reports on what they have done. My oldest loves to come home with good grades because it shows the level of her effort that she puts in. To brag a bit, in 2 years of spelling tests every week, she has gotten two words wrong and that was before she got glasses. I like to be graded, I have worked in two different professions where you get graded either constantly(trading stocks) or one a year(road race management). My belief is that kind of stress sharpens you and makes you better at everything. I can go for a couple of weeks with only sleeping a couple hours a night because of the stress and I love it.
When I read that schools are like prison or school is evil, it bothers me. When you enjoy your lifestyle, you should celebrate it and not attack another type that is what others believe is in the best interests of their families. Plus you are attacking a lot of good people who give their best each day to further what they believe is a good cause.
Think of it this way. I could focus on one issue of unschooling, that your kids are free to take what they want and do what they please without guilt and usual social norms need not be followed. That is the one sentence definition of a sociopath. That would be incredibly unfair of me to write about that. Nothing is perfect for everybody and you can easily find the downside to anything and harp on that.
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Heather Reply:
April 14th, 2010 at 8:25 am
@Billy – I write about the rights of children. I believe that children should enjoy the same rights as adults. I wrote some examples earlier in the comments if you’d like to venture back a little.
A few people felt I had attacked their lifestyle. A few parents and a few teachers. It happens. When someone writes an article and so many people read it, lots of people are bound to have different perspectives. I am quite aware that I “poked the bear”. However, I did so for good reason. Children have very few rights and one of the biggest culprits is compulsory school.
To clarify, it is the government that I am attacking. Brief History of American Compulsory Schooling
I am sorry that you feel attacked. It was not my attention. However, it *was* my intention to give my readers something to think about. Something many people have never thought about. Children do not need to be taught how to learn. They already know how, and given the freedom to learn, they will. I didn’t suggest that everyone begin unschooling. I suggested that school be made an option, like college.
“that your kids are free to take what they want and do what they please without guilt and usual social norms need not be followed. “ This is not the definition of unschooling. I wasn’t going to address it. However, I think it’s important. What you described is not an unschooled lifestyle. I parent my children, and help them understand their world. Cultural and societal norms are part of living. I wrote about Cultural Expectations awhile back. Children *can* learn about these things in a much more gentle way. It’s easy for people to make that assumption because unschooled children enjoy a lot more freedom than the average child. I would kindly encourage some more research on the topic before making generalizations like that.
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[...] She always tells it like she sees it. [...]
Your article is very thought provoking. As a past-parent of public school educated children…now adults and parents themselves I have a different perspective than most since mine are grown and gone from the home. I think the most important concept you are advocating is a CHOICE. I could not agree more! Many parents are not suited either by nature or inclination to the homeschool/unschool path but for those who are or are willing to give it a try, I believe those parents should be supported and encouraged. I also agree that there is much too much medicating going on as a means of “control”. The problems with education are too numerous to mention and the solutions are as well. My prayers are with parents who strive to do the very best for their children in whatever circumstance they find themselves and I also hope that parents will not stop searching for their personal solution. This is battle worth fighting and winning.
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Heather Reply:
April 19th, 2010 at 8:48 pm
Thank you so much for your comment Cathy. I appreciate your encouragement!
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If A equals success, then the formula is: A=X+Y+Z. X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut. — Albert Einstein
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Heather Reply:
April 20th, 2010 at 9:36 am
Where did you find that quote Tawanda? I’m not sure I like it!
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So glad Tara linked this up, because I somehow missed it (and the great conversation going on).
Very well put together and a great read. I was just at my midwife’s this morning and we were talking about homeschooling in response to people’s suggestion that I put my 5 year old in school since I’m having a third and could use some extra time and space.
She has older (homeschooled) kids and we were talking about the irony of believing sending your kids to school somehow frees you up because really instead of following the flow of the family that we’ve all come to settle into it our entire family would have to readjust to meet an outside schedule.
My mom is an educator (who is more open-minded than most) but she talks about how frustrating it is when families keep their kids at home often or go on lots of vacations. She says it disrupts the class, makes it really hard on the kid who’s always having to catch up etc. While I see how these things can be true I also can’t believe there’s a situation where if you send your kid to school (or hopefully they are choosing to go) they now have to go EVERY DAY ALL DAY in order to not disrupt the larger group or get stressed out personally.
I am just so happy we started on this path from the beginning and a huge thanks for the reminder about trusting ourselves before we can trust our kids. I’ve had to deal with some criticisms lately and it’s so important to check in and remind myself that I am doing the very best for myself and my family and together we journey to make sure everyone’s needs are being met.
Thanks for the great post.
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I was linked to this post via twitter. I really enjoyed it and a lot of it rings true with me.
I went to compulsory school. To begin with I loved school, I was a bright child and had been able to read since I was 2 and a half years old. Then it happened, I was smarter than the other children in my class but was still forced to do the same work as them to keep order. I was instructed to not answer questions in class to give the other children a chance, at one point I was made to sit alone, separate from the other children and quietly do my own workbook. I remember a few children in my class peeing themselves when they were instructed they couldn’t use the bathroom.
I lost all interest in school, but I would still request non-fiction books from my parents so that I could learn what I wanted at home. I firmly believe that my parents thought they were doing the best for me, they are both severely dyslexic and didn’t think they would have been able to homeschool me.
So I primarily taught myself in my spare time, from books and the internet. I paid no attention in school and was frequently in trouble. I wrote my school essays the night before they were due, often without reading the source material, and still managed to get an A. I was diagnosed with “depression” and drugged at age 14. I learned not to try hard at anything, which I’ve only just really began to work through at age 24. I never completed college because it seemed to be much of the same.
And now, I have a 2 year old. As a testament to how institutionalised I must be, I am having trouble deciding whether to send him to school or not in the future. It should be a no-brainer after my experiences. I can see by watching him now, how important it is for children to have the freedom to learn and play at their own pace. I am friends with another mother who just recently removed her 7 year old from school because she was not ready to read and was therefore being ignored and left behind. She is now doing wonderfully in homeschool and is a very bright child.
Thank you for this article, it’s really helping to solidify my thoughts on keeping my son at home instead of sending him to school when the time comes.
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Holy crusade, Batman! ROCK ON SISTA!
You know if people started college level home schooling (what? y’all think colleges are any better?) it would kneecap every paranoid criticism against home schooling that the Stockholm Peanut Gallery comes up with.
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Heather Reply:
January 12th, 2011 at 2:41 pm
Some people *are* college level homeschooling. I guess. But it’s just life… so I suppose they wouldn’t call it anything else.
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[...] to go to school to serve an 18-year sentence. Does public school sound like prison to you? This blogger seems to think [...]
I think this article is well-written. I will not be a captive, and I need to take my destiny into my own hands. Now if only I could un-brainwash people so that they could help me fight against this cruel system of schooling. After all, education is not schooling. I can learn on my own terms.
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