Radical Unschooling is seeping into the mainstream. It’s probably what some of us dreamed about and it’s definitely what some of us feared. Years ago the Martin family appeared on Dr. Phil when he featured “The Great School Debate”. More recently, Sarah and Chris Parent appeared on Radical Parenting on Discovery Health, a 15 minute segment which lacked many facts, but managed to come out shining compared to what I saw on the morning of April 19th. Christine Yablonski and Phil Beigler and their two teenage children, Shaun and Kimi, were kind enough to open their home to ABC news. The crew filmed and interviewed their family for a short Good Morning America segment. Now, I understand the need to show many different opinions, and both sides to an issue, but ABC editors took their media power way too far in order to cast Radical Unschooling in a negative light. ABC news gave a heavily edited, strongly biased, misrepresentation of Unschooling. Even for mainstream media, this is truly shameful. Watch for yourselves. Lee Stranahan wrote a fabulous response piece here, so I’m not going to try and do the same. I want to discuss some of the issues that arise from Unschooling hitting the mainstream.
I’ve never seen this much negative attention toward Unschooling in my life. First of all, if anyone reading this has any questions about unschooling, and you don’t want to comment, I encourage you to email me privately. I can’t change the damage that Good Morning America caused, but I can open myself up as a source of information and offer some explanation or advice. Secondly, I find myself wondering: If Unschooling is so wonderful, then why is it so easy to cast in a negative light? Why is it so easy to take a kind, loving, and well-spoken family and turn them into neglectful couch potatoes who could care less if their children learn anything at all? Even this follow-up article to the segment states, “I’m sure by now you’re wondering what exactly they DO choose to do in order to provide their children with an educational experience, so I’ll fill you in. Nothing. They do nothing.” This statement, and the way they were portrayed on television couldn’t be further from the truth.
I think that the word Unschooling has the fundamental problem of having a negative prefix. Those of us that are Unschooling families easily view this word as positive as Suzanne Carter when she said, “to me unschooling is as positive as unchaining, unbinding, unleashing, unfolding, unfurling, unlimiting” but the mainstream simply see’s it as not schooling, or educational neglect. For anyone new to the concept, all they can do is measure it up against what they know, yet measuring and comparing is one of the many, many the reasons that people choose this lifestyle. It’s not an accurate or useful way to realize happiness, satisfaction, or even potential.
Another issue I see is that these articles and television segments are always focusing on the children. What they do and even more so, what they don’t do. Children, as I see it, already know how to learn. Christine Yablonski and Phil Beigler were flown to ABC yesterday after ABC received an overwhelming response, both positive and negative. Although this second segment won’t receive the same attention that the first one did, they really were given a chance to explain a little more about what they do as parents. Without mindful and dedicated parents or guardians then what is Unschooling? We aren’t sitting around on our butts waiting for our kids to grow up. For one, without active parent’s or guardians it’s not Unschooling. It’s unparenting and there is a huge difference. Especially, with the mainstream media getting ahold of this, those of us who have chosen this lifestyle have been given the challenging responsibility of presenting it to the outside world.
As parents we:
- live by principles instead of enforcing rules “no rules” conjures up mental images of children swinging from chandeliers and toilet papering houses. If you come from a place that believes that children are inherently good and can be trusted, then you don’t need rules. Living by principles encourages children to have their own. It encourages critical thinking in any decision making situation. Following rules, keeps children from thinking and making good decisions because rules weren’t meant to be thought about, only followed.
- support their foundation It’s exactly what we are doing when we bring home everything on Greek Mythology we can possibly find because that’s what our child is interested in right now. They already have a foundation of how to learn. We are giving them the support they need to go on learning and find new ways to learn it. School gives children to opportunity to learn one way. In the real world, the ways to learn are as vast and diverse as the world itself.
- open their world By simply not placing them in compulsory school, we’ve taken the first step to open up their world. A child in school has a very small world that isn’t even representative of a real life. A child outside of school has an unlimited world with unlimited resources for learning. They see real life, and learn from it as it happens. Instead of thinking that school is for learning, we see everything as an opportunity for learning.
- engage in reciprocal learning Since we are together so often, we often know and understand what our children are learning about and we learn right along with them. Our families are closer and have reciprocal learning experiences. I learn from my children as often as they learn from me. It’s not a teacher/student relationship. It’s that of two life learners sharing information they find necessary or interesting
- expose them to new material regularly Teacher’s call their curriculum “material”. Our entire lives are learning material. It’s not untrue to say that we expose our children to new learning material regularly. We help them find the material that will work best for them. The difference is, if our child is interested in organic gardening, then he doesn’t just read about it, we make sure that he’s able to *do* it and provide him with as many resources as possible to be successful.
- see that learning never stops It doesn’t ever stop and sometimes people just like to hear those words. Learning doesn’t start and stop with the bell. Learning doesn’t end at 3. We even learn on weekends. We don’t separate life from learning.
- trust in their process Children already know how to learn, but they all have different processes for learning that is right for them. For me, I learn best by watching. My husband learns best by reading. We learn differently and neither is better or worse than the other. It is important that we trust their natural process and stay out of its way. When we get in the way and try and change it, is when they lose trust in themselves.
A Note To All Life Long Learners
When we talk about Unschooling in a way that says what we don’t do, people get the wrong idea. The ABC news segment sent their article around on Twitter with the title “No Tests, No Books, No Classes”. Well, I know unschooling children who have taken tests, who read books and who take classes. We aren’t barring our children from these things. We are allowing them to choose it, to enjoy it, and to decide if it’s right for them. Believe it or not, some *do* choose that for themselves. Some children *do* seek out academically traditional means of learning on their own. And seriously, I know a lot of people who don’t care to read often, but really, could you imagine a life with no books? Books to an unschooled child are another valuable resource that is present in their daily lives. Sensational news stories really do us all an injustice.
These are just a few things I’m throwing out there to think about. It’s important to talk about Unschooling and Life Learning in a way that is positive, that explains what we *do* do. Not what we don’t do. These families that put themselves out there in the public eye are so incredibly brave. The fact that ABC flew the Yablonski-Beigler family to their studio because of such a huge response, says that this is no longer a bubble. We are living very outside of the mainstream and it is now subject to public scrutiny more now than ever before. Whether you embrace labels like Unschooler or Life Learner or Autodidact or no label at all, I feel like we should be prepared to talk about our decisions. People are starting to wonder and ask questions. As I’ve said before, anytime we can take a step toward mindful parenting and being more gentle to children, is a step in the right direction.
If we can plant one tiny seed then maybe that seed will grow given the right conditions. But that seed, or idea, can’t grow if we try and force it.
Thank you for being such a wonderful writer!
I don’t want unschooling in the meadi, they are too indoctrinated to see out of that little box.
What we do is real living, it’s natural, SCHOOL is artificial!
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i often wonder at the wisdom of the name ‘unschooling’ in terms of wider acceptance and exploration – it does often bring a negative image to mind – life learners just doesn’t do it for me nor does Autodidact —
hope we could think of a ‘label’ that feels accurate while positive while inclusive while non-threatening to mainstreamers while non-conforming while ??? … i’m sure you’re gettin my drift about now
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Heather Reply:
April 20th, 2010 at 10:25 am
@Stephanie – Thanks so much!
@Deb – I still don’t think the name is going anywhere. We don’t have to embrace it, but we can’t lose it.
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Great post. Wonderful writer. I am confident as a media outsider that Unschooling is NOT what was portrayed on that segment. I know that was my initial impression when I first heard the term…. and which is why I sought you out as a reliable source to turn to for one of my articles.
Wish that show had done the same! ha!
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As someone relatively new to the whole concept, I think part of the problem is that you can’t explain it in an instant, or in a five minute segment on TV. It is (obviously) radically different to anything most people grow up experiencing, and I think it takes some careful and detailed explanations, some careful and open minded listening and then some deep thinking about how we learn, why learning matters and what we want out of life and from our learning experience before you can fully comprehend the concept.
With eloquent and passionate advocates such as yourself and Tara, I think more people could be converted – I know that I’m certainly becoming a convert!
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Heather Reply:
April 20th, 2010 at 11:18 am
You’re absolutely right. This can’t be explained in a few minutes. That’s part of what makes these short segments so downright frustrating. We can only plant small seeds.
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Just tossing in my support.
Long-term homeschoolers, the latter half unschoolers. Funny, my two adult on-their-own children are doing wonderfully. My daughter’s first day of college (her choice) was her first time ever in a classroom. She has a 3.0 GPA. (not that she cares much 
, she’s just enjoying herself as much as possible)
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Agh! I was waiting for your take on this–so good, too! I’m going to go link you on my post, that I literally just finished. And thank you for this, ” Well, I know unschooling children who have taken tests, who read books and who take classes. We aren’t barring our children from these things. We are allowing them to choose it, to enjoy it, and to decide if it’s right for them”, as that is exactly where my two are at, though not through the public school system.
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Heather Reply:
April 20th, 2010 at 11:19 am
@Amy – Thanks! I’ll go check it out.
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Thanks for doing this post! I think you are spot on that they definitely put this together in a way to make a one sided show. I do praise ABC though for having them on the show live today. If I have one regret about our Discovery Health show, it was that they had “experts” added in to the show but we were never given a chance to respond in any way to the things they added into the segment.
I comment Phil and Christine for their efforts to put their faces and family out there for what they believe in, and I encourage others who unschool (radical or not) to share their stories with anyone who seeks to hear more about it.
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I am very interested in unschooling–I’m leaving the field of education and have serious concerns about sending my children to any type of school, considering the many negative effects school had on me and my current students.
How do you suggest unschooling when both parents have to work, at least part time?
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Heather Reply:
April 20th, 2010 at 2:53 pm
Thank you for all the wonderful comments! I’m enjoying reading each and every one of them.
I only wish I had time to respond to them all but alas we are home today so i can actually clean the house. Which clearly I am not doing right this minute. LOL
@Ali – Personally I don’t have experience with that. The best advice I have is to get creative. Work opposite shifts, find flexible employment, work from home. There *are* lots of people that do make it work! I would try out some unschooling message boards. I will try and find a couple resources for you and I’ll email them to you. I may not get to it for a couple days, but I WILL get back to you.
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The path my wife and I took to unschooling was leading *away* from mainstream life. Expecting a mainstream philosophy toward childhood, education and socialization to suddenly understand and respect the unschooling, life-learning philosophy seems misguided. If the big-bad mainstream world “got it” then we likely would never have found ourselves on this path.
One thing I hope other unschoolers take from this is to understand the impossibility of trying to change someone’s perception on a philosophy that encompasses your entire existence. It cannot be done in a 5 minute segment on national TV with journalists and producers who loudly proclaim their suspicion and bias against it.
I heard about this GMA segment from Twitter before it aired. The only thought that went through my mind was “this will not turn out good at all.”
It’s not a mainstream idea and belongs nowhere on mainstream TV with a futile, sure-to-fail self-defense.
The unschooling life is gaining popularity by leaps and bounds. It does not need a spokesperson. The people who need to “get it”, get it.
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I think the first and biggest hurdle is that you have to suspend the thought (assumption) that “school” is the best way to learn and gain information. Something that most have never even considered.
Once you get over that, it’s easy to see that school, as it is, is a moot point. This isn’t called the information age for nothing, and school as a necessity has become obsolete.
That becomes obvious, I think, upon real consideration.
Doesn’t it?
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thank you for a well thought out article.
The GMA piece was really bad, but what I found most amusing was the indication that unschooling your child is somehow limiting them. When I first thought of NOT sending my son to school the entire world opened up for me. Instead of disengaging from him and sending him off to another’s care, I realized that we could do a million and a half fun things together and it would all be learning. I could remain present and important in his life and it would be a really good thing. And he can follow his passion, not waste his time struggling through things that aren’t important to him. His life can have meaning and purpose from the very beginning instead of him having to find it later. Why should I be allowed to seek meaning and purpose in my life but he’s not? This seems like shaking off shackles, freeing him, not limiting him. It’s awesome. It’s exciting.
I appreciate that you say Trust in the Process. I personally went through public school, went to college, did mostly well and actually really enjoyed learning. There was a lot about SCHOOL I hated but the learning part was great. It’s a scary thing for me that my son may decide not to go to college but I really do trust in his process and in him as a person (despite him only being three).
Ultimately unschoolers are taking the road less traveled and when you do that, you must be a strong person who stands up for their values and beliefs, who is willing to face opposition and admonishment because you know you are doing the right thing. The world doesn’t have to agree but it does need to respect the right to make a different choice. Same for mainstream media.
Or to sum up my comment more succinctly, what a bunch of idiots who didn’t really take time to do more than a sensationalist hack job.
Thanks for your blog.
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Thank you for summarizing so well what some of us can’t quite articulate. Having been a unschooler for 30 years, I like you am amazed at all the attention it is receiving at this time. My children all crack up at the reports and news coverage. They were there, been there and done that. Some have gone on to college, some are businessmen, some are artists, a couple in college, yeah I have a lot
I would do it all over again, and for those that believe it is a cop out, or the lazy parents plan hahahahahahahahaha! We never stop taking our children to different places and things to expose them to life. We all have a blast and have always had a blast. That being said I do not have the courage of the Bigler family to ever go “public”. I guess you could say we were “closet unschoolers”. I just got so tired of explaining, excusing and defending, I finally quit talking about it. And you can bet my children never told people they were unschooling. There is a whole other stigma that children face in that area. It will be interesting to see where all this media attention takes the movement, hopefully in a positive direction.
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[...] clips, so rather than continuing on my own diatribe, I’m going to refer you to Heather aka Swiss Army Wife. Read her response, her blog. Maybe do a few more searches of people knowledgeable and [...]
Well, it looks like Good Morning America has accomplished in one or two shows what I’ve been trying to do for 30+ years…get people thinking about the use of the “U” word and how it’s negative. Oh, the power of the mainstream media.
Great post, by the way, Heather.
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A few years ago my 13-yr-old daughter and I were navigating our way home, getting stuck behind one schoolbus after another. She asked me if these kids (elementary and middle-school age) were just getting out of school at 4:00pm. I said they were. She asked me when they started their school day. I said probably 8 or 8:30. She was astounded, and asked me,
“How do they learn anything when they are in a classroom all day?!?”
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Another family offering up support. Thank you for this article. May it get passed around and tweeted and shared.
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Thank you for writing such a well reasoned response, I appreciate having a calmly written reply to refer others to. I just prattled off an emotional response on my own blog to process it so it wouldn’t derail me from better things.
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@ Deb & Heather… Sooo many unschoolers I’ve talked to also feel the word unschooling creates a bad first impression that can be difficult to overcome. The best explanation I’ve found for this is “frame semantics” from the field of cognitive linguistics (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frame_semantics_%28linguistics%29).
Take the world “elephant” as an example. Think of the word “elephant” as a frame that encompasses everything you know about elephants such as: large, gray, good memory, etc. When you hear the word elephant, it immediately activates your mind’s connections to all the concepts you associate with that word.
Now consider the word unschool. Some common ways the word has been traditionally understood include: “lacking in education,” “untaught people whose skills are grossly deficient,” “uneducated children”. So when someone hears the word unschool (and they’re not familiar with what WE mean when we use it) the above concepts immediately come to mind, and those concepts are in turn connected to ideas like neglect, unprepared for the world, etc.
Even people who would otherwise be open to the actual concept of unschooling, have to struggle while their mind tries to redefine what’s inside their “frame” of unschool. And even as we painstakingly explain our “new” definition of unschool, EVERY time we use the word it triggers those old concepts! It becomes WORK to redefine the word compared to the original conceptual framework. Not very organic/unschooly, actually.
When explaining unschooling, we’re not just bumping into broader cultural norms, we’re also struggling with the internal wiring of peoples’ brains!! We’re using a word that instantly triggers concepts that are indeed CONTRARY to what we experience in our unschooling lives.
It would be SO MUCH easier to create a new conceptual framework in people’s minds by using words that more closely match the reality of what unschooling is!! Life learning is probably my favorite suggestion so far, since those words are already associated in people’s minds with much of what defines an unschooled life.
But I’ll admit, now that MY conceptual framework of the word unschooling is so deeply established in my mind, it’s hard for me to imagine, let alone get used to, using another word to describe our wonderful lives of learning in freedom!
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@ Wendy … Very curious… what are your favorite alternates to the word unschooling??
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Right on and write on, Heather!!
Wonderfully articulated response to an inflammatory, emotional piece. Thank you.
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Just wondering why you feel you can’t do all of those things to facilitate learning in addition to letting your child go to school. You act as though all public school is damaging. Why not work with your local school districts to foster the learning of every child? While you can see that not all unschooling is like the examples shown in the media, you cannot see that public schooling is not only like some of the examples you have seen.
Personally, I favor the educational system in Denmark. The Danes are doing things right.
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Heather, You are truly a gifted writer! I think your piece is so important to share with other Unschoolers. Focusing on what we do, and not what we don’t do, is essential. Nice job!
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Seventeen years ago, we chose this path that gave us freedom; freedom to explore, to share, to be. We have had the time to learn the lessons of the heart as much as lessons of the planet. My children are now 18 and almost 22. One has chosen college(after traveling and interning) and is a senior; the other is traveling and trying lots of things—she wants to make art stuff and save the world. She works as a life guard and teaches kids to swim; works in our pottey studio, and interns at the local art museum, for their summer art celebration parade. She teaches stilt walking and performs.
I look at us as gardeners. We amend the soil with the best stuff we can find, we nurture the seeds and plants; but we don’t make them grow. They do that all by themselves.
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oops—that should be pottery studio
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i also am unschooling my 11 year old. i am loking for something i can do at home so i can keep doing this. i am currently a single parent. thank you
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Heather Reply:
April 20th, 2010 at 5:50 pm
@hmmm – I can’t attest to the Danish education system because I know nothing about it. But if it’s compulsory, you can bet I won’t be standing behind it. What I can say is that my children are my responsibility. I could work hard in order to fix a broken system, but 1, I don’t think it can be fixed, and 2, I would still be placing my children within a broken system.
@Susan – I wish I had answers for you! But many moms work from home! Be creative, think outside the box. There are lots of WAHM opportunities. Maybe the forums over at Mothering.com could help you out. Good luck!
@Sue – I think someone on the Discovery Channel called in Immersion Learning. I liked that to. I think the point though, is that the word is not going anywhere. I use many terms interchangeably, but I find my resources and my tribe by using the word unschooling.
Thanks to all the other positive comments. Radical Unschooling has really hit the mainstream in the last couple days. I care so much about this lifestyle, it’s been a whirlwind of emotion for me, as I read the scathing comments over at ABC and watch the Unschooling community band together against it and everything in between.
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When I started unschooling, I didn’t know there was a name for it. When people asked what curriculum I used, I told them I created an individualized curriculum based on that child’s needs and interests. Individualized Learning would be a good name.
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We were thrown a lemon now make lemonaide. I have 2 adult children successful in life. 2 younger children, that I unschool, the older until HS, a performing arts HS with high demands. She had to audition/interview to be accepted. None of the teachers knew she was unschooled until I told them. They wish other students were more like her. She has a GPA 3.7 in honor classes and going to college for a BFA in dance, goal to dance with a modern company. Dance is her love and soul of life. My younger one loves animals and visual arts. I have 2 grandsons, the older dances looking up to his Aunts, at 8 years old looking to dance professional as well. Life is a journey its just which path you take up the mountain all going towards a goal in Life. The greatest masters have known all are teachers and students, from birth till death. When I’m in a bookstore customers have asked if I was a teacher the way I’m with children and the cashiers have said that I must be a teacher by some of the books I purchase, not textbooks, I say yes, that we all are teachers and students. Textbooks only cover 10 to 20 percent of what one learns in life, the rest is the school of life, the world. Textbooks are only another tool to use. There are many tools that we learn from and don’t even realize it. We all learn something new everyday at every age. Our forefathers in our country put their lives on the line for the people, freedom for all, freedom to school – public – private, home schooling and unschooling is private school and legal for all. Fear is of change and new ideas, people were afraid to fly, once upon a time… We have taken flight to a new stage… Truth plus unconditional Love = True Freedom for all. Get out of the dark and into the light see the truth, the truth is not always pretty… There’s not always just one answer to every question and nobody knows it all. Unschoolers – Deschoolers – School of Life for life is our teacher… natures buffet to take what is needed when needed…as well as to give back as needed when needed… My dancers poem at age 11 years, Tell me your Life and I’ll tell you mine, is the title. She did this on her own with no one to tell her to write this. It was inspired from a teacher’s story unschooler in nature at the creek, later then wrote the poem. President Abe Lincoln, a homeschooler. Its a choice to take a look on how one wants to see the picture painted, like NYC one person would say beautiful the lights, sky, view, another person would say the noise, dirt, crowded, both looking at the same picture, its ones own interpretation. Learning is a process, one method works for one person may not work for another. When the mind is ready to learn something new it does, its not by force which by force creates blocks to the mind in learning. These blocks cause disinterest, low self esteem, lack of confidence, just like grades can when one person gets A’s and B’s, another get D’s and F’s, labeling A for honors and F for failure, human nature to compare one to another is a downfall, instead compare only to oneself with praise for trying, support, you can do it, try another day/time when all of a sudden that day comes success… We don’t force the hand to the fire… Children like flowers in the garden all don’t grow at the same rate over time, as they don’t all loose their teeth at the same time, as with math, reading, etc. it comes natural at the time to each individual, as all can learn a lesson from nature. I had one child start to read at age one the other at age 8, the opposite was in math for each child, one was stronger in reading, over math, the other was stronger in math over reading, now in honors English, Math, Spanish, History, Science. We all catch up when learning becomes a natural way of life, the way nature intended at the top of the mountain. I say to people when raising a child you can never give to much Love, alot of Patience, and a Guiding hand to pick you up when you fall, not holding the hand, to experience what life has to offer in nature and beyond into the universe…
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I do not undersatnd, but respect what you (and your family) are doing while raising your children. I think that you guys put in the time and effort, and believe that you are doing what you believe is best for you children and that is great. We all do what we believe is best for your children. Your children have love and warmth from a good family and that is what is really important.
I do ask why dose it matter so much to you and the rest of the world how you do it. I do not raise my children in this manner but I continue to follow your blog Heather, because I do many of the things you have done with your children, just after they return home from school. I also find it educational for me to see what others are doing even if I would never do it with my children. I went to school and loved every minute of it. I am a life long learner and have many different dregrees that I got because of my many different interests. I still continue to go to school and travel and read to learn every thing I can. I saw school as a very postive part of my life. I enjoyed every day I had/have to chance to attend. I find it important to learn from many other people. But this is a difference that i would hope you and the unschooling world would not hold against me. It takes many different people and ways of doing things to make this world great.
I would like to say I am sorry that you and the unschoolers of the world have to put up with this kinda of bad media. I wish that they would just let you do your own things. As a more school focused parent, reading some of the post that unschoolers have posted I do see how people could be insulted, but that is there problem not yours.
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As an opponent of the present form of public schooling, I am always heartened to read stories of parents providing their children with alternative means of education. But then I read that the “unstudents” grow up to become dancers or artists or philosophers or musicians. Sure, these roles have their functions in society, but it would be more encouraging if significant numbers of unschooled children were growing up to become the scientists and engineers that make the free proliferation of information possible in the first place.
Since it is evident that most children will chose cultural studies or quasi scientific activities such as collecting bugs or looking at the stars, should we perhaps stop funding the liberal arts curriculum in public schools and leave it to the unschoolers to play this part?
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Heather Reply:
April 21st, 2010 at 6:27 am
I have young children so we usually don’t hang with the older kids, but I know several computer programmers. http://eligerzon.wordpress.com/2009/07/01/links-to-successful-unschoolers One of the problems with this request is that those who do go into this field are not often in the spotlight like the musics and artists. I don’t understand what you mean by the “free proliferation of information”? I can’t say that I feel information is stifled in any way.
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Can you feel a bit of Sarah Palin’s “pain”? The media can skew any story to fit their purpose. I do not watch TV and recommend this course of action to you all! The government wants all our children in school….I wonder why????
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And before any of those appearances, there was the People magazine article: http://sandradodd.com/reninpeople
Chris and Phil did a great job though!
Which actually convinced me to never put myself at the mercy of the media again.
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Heather Reply:
April 21st, 2010 at 6:51 am
Thanks for posting that! I had no idea. I do love that photo.
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[...] Another article on the same subject describes what unschooling parents really have to do for their child’s education. And it’s not standing up in front of a room preaching “material,” that’s for sure. [...]
I am so excited to find your blog. There is so much good stuff here. I could get lost in your material.
One of the main reasons I am strongly considering unschooling for my littles (2.5yrs and 1yr) is because of my own education. I am a well read, educated person who has learned how to think critically and resist being swayed by the “stronger” voice rather than reason. I attribute this to the education I gave myself outside of school.
I went to public school and I was bored, bored, bored. I had a few wonderful teachers but for the most part, and this was in the 70′s, it was one person trying to herd cats all day. Because I was bright, I spent much of my time waiting around for the other students to catch up.
However, there was a spark of the life long learner within even back then. I learned how to use the libray and checked innumerable books on Greek mythology, Roman gov’t, Doric vs Corinthian columns, whatever struck my fancy. Those are the lessons I learned. That is what I absorbed into my person. The other was just busy work that had to be finished so I could get on with what interested me.
I really don’t think my teachers taught me that much. It wasn’t necessarily their fault, they were busy with other kids. I went to kindergarten reading and could read and understand the textbooks myself. By the time I was in high school, I argued points of fact with my teachers. Surprisingly, some teachers loved this, not so surprising, most did not.
As I ponder the education choices for my children I have to wonder, what could I have learned if I hadn’t had to waste time on all the silly worksheets that I could do in my sleep? If I had not had to wait around with nothing to do for others to catch up? One thing that saved my experience was I was tested into the gifted classes and one day a week, I went to special classes for the whole day. Can you guess how they differed from regular shcool? They were completely student interest led and we were allowed to do whatever we wanted. The projects we came up with on our own were amazing. Funny how that is, isn’t it?
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This was a great take on the whole thing. Between you and Tara, I feel pretty informed about the segment, even though I was too much of a wimp to actually force myself to watch it. I tried, I really did.. heh. I got about 45 seconds in and was just already overwhelmed by how biased it was and couldn’t continue without feeling all defensive and threatened and and and… exhausted. I know we have to advocate for our choices and be open to scrutiny and questions. That’s what happens when we put ourselves out there as bloggers on the subject, but wow… this post covered so much. I’m going to have sit and think and figure out my own personal strategy for advocating and writing about our unschooling life in this post-GMA segment climate.
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[...] (Oh, if you don’t know about the firestorm, here’s the list of places to see/read about Good Morning America’s piece and the attention it has brought onto our quiet little community: GMA’s first segment GMA’s second segment Rebuttal on Child’s Play Rebuttal on Huffington Post Unschooling family on Joy Behar Rebuttal on Organic Sister Rebuttal on Swiss Army Wife [...]
I am just learning about unschooling.
I stumbled on to Tara’s blog about a month ago and have been following her. She is such a inspiration and I found her at the right time. My son just turned 9 and is categorized as having ADHD. He gets in trouble at school all the time (wont sit still, talks in the middle of class etc) and I actually got called into school to pick him up and bring him to a hospital for a mental evaluation. The school threatened to call the Department of Social Services on me. What happen was my son went up to a girl and said so very sexual explict things to her. I was shocked he even knew what those words were! When I sat down and had a talk with him, I asked him where he heard it. He said 2 older kids dared him to go over to the girl and say it to her.. He said no, but they “double dog dared” him and told him he would be a loser if he didn’t. So he did. That is when it hit me… he thinks his “life” is school. He hates going to school, cries, yells, and is emotionally damaged by this whole ordeal. He thinks if he doesn’t fit in, sit still, get good grades, act and dress cool, he is nothing. That killed me. I was confused,hurt, mad, scared, I had no clue what to do. Thats when I found Tara. She introduced me to unschooling and is teaching me how to be a better mother.
Reading your blog just rang huge bells in my head… my dad was basically unschooled. He is in his 70′s now, and when he was in 5th grade, his teacher told my grandmother that he was not a bright child and was moved to a class where they bascially just sat around and did crafts all day. So my grandmother took him out of school. He did everything with her and his dad. They had a farm so he worked on the farm, helped his dad and uncle build, cooked, etc. He is a very very intelligent person. He learned everything he needed to through life. My son is very much like him. They BOTH learn visually. They won’t learn if they sit in a chair and get talked to all day.
I really appreciate your blog. Very thoughtful and greatly written. I watched the GMA show hoping it will be informative and show what unschooling is all about. Clearly they didn’t. Hopefully people who have never heard of unschooling and saw it on GMA will go to find more information on it, and come across your blog and the many others and learn what real unschooling is.
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Heather Reply:
April 22nd, 2010 at 10:10 am
Thanks Melissa. Your story sends reminders of my eldest son’s year and a half of school through my body. It was a horrible time for him and me. Taking him out of school where he could no longer be labeled was the best decision we ever made.
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[...] etc. etc.) live by. Concerned with the “un-” in the label Unschooling, she says, “It’s important to talk about Unschooling and Life Learning in a way that is positive, that …do do.” In the vein of Heather’s post, many homeschoolers and unschoolers are beginning [...]
Thanks for a great article. I blogged a bit meself on the topic:
http://kelly.hogaboom.org/?p=5845
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Excellent article! After reading this, plus the original one by ABC, I went on to write a blog about it myself.
I wanted to link my blog to the Original Poster here, as I quoted a lot of what you’ve written here and want you to be aware that I used your wonderful information in my humble blog.
Thank you so much and I hope you all enjoy reading my two cents!
http://kachi.ornitha.org/blog/25/un-schooling-schooling-and-the-pursuit-of-knowledge
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It is so hard to explain unschooling to people without using “negatives” (the don’ts, uns, antis etc), such as what we don’t do. Likewise it’s hard to explain why unschooling is so good without explaining why we feel school isn’t. Even when we try, the questions arise: “What about curriculum, what is they only want to…” and all your efforts to avoid the “negatives” are washed down the drain by their own perspective.
I think one of the keys is to have open and honest discussions with people one-on-one. I have yet to meet a person face-to-face that I couldn’t convince to sing the praises of unschooling. Probably because little is left to imagination and nothing is left unexplained in a real conversation.
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[...] Swiss Army Wife: Parent’s Role in Unschooling [...]
Heather,
I stumbled upon your blog last night via On Bradstreet. I am new to the blogosphere and find it somewhat intimidating so I haven’t made many comments. Your entry was so well written and thoughtful I had to jump in and share my thoughts!
I am a early childhood educator at a private school that continues to 8th grade. My two children age 3 and 7 are fortunate enough to go to school with me every day. If I did not work at the school we would be unable to afford the tuition (don’t get me started) and I think I would be “unschooling”. I put this in quotes because, as someone who is just starting to research homeschooling, I agree with what Anne says above : “Some common ways the word has been traditionally understood include: “lacking in education,” “untaught people whose skills are grossly deficient,” “uneducated children”.
The early childhood program I work in is inspired by the Reggio Emilia approach, which I feel shares a lot of the philosophy of unschooling. We use emergent curriculum which starts with the child, not the subject matter. We also respect the child as being a curious, capable human being who learns best about their world through self-created experiences. In my classroom, I learn along with the children, watching what captures their interests and offering new material/ experiences to build upon that interest. The child is the researcher, I am one of many tools at their disposal on their path to discovery.
It seems to me, the term emergent curriculum, or some similar term would better describe what unschooling truly is.
Thanks again for your post…I’ll visit your blog often!
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Heather Reply:
April 25th, 2010 at 6:35 am
Thanks Mari. I’ve noticed that in the last couple years what I write tends to make teachers a little angry. After unschooling hit the news, I’ve been pleasantly surprised with a few teachers who are positive toward me.
I don’t like the schools, but I certainly understand that they have existed for a long time and will continue exist for a long time. Private schools also have a very distinct advantage over public schools. I don’t fight for school reform, but it would be nice to schools moving back toward that open classroom and to start being kinder to children. I like how you put this: “The child is the researcher, I am one of many tools at their disposal on their path to discovery.”
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[...] about unschooling in the media from writers I enjoy, following recent TV interviews, can be found here and [...]
I think the fundamental problem of defining unschooling is that there are as many ways of “doing” unschooling as there are learners. Different families are sure to approach it in different ways. It is silly to profile one family and say, “Oh look, this is what people are doing!” (Shocking I know)
As far as un being negative I like to think of it as “the opposite of”
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Heather Reply:
October 31st, 2010 at 3:06 pm
“I think the fundamental problem of defining unschooling is that there are as many ways of “doing” unschooling as there are learners. ”
So true. We all approach life differently since we are all different people with very different backgrounds. Unschooling is just another term for learning in freedom. What we choose to do with our freedom is a whole other story.
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