We have just returned from the Life is Good Unschooling Conference. Attending these gatherings is an extremely important part of unschooling for me. When people are new at unschooling I always tell them, don’t try and do this alone. Find your people, or as many of you say “find your tribe”. I am someone who does everything alone. I don’t ask for help often, I don’t often share my emotions and I tend to be a fairly private person. However, one of the things I cannot do is unschool my children alone. I need you, and you need me. I love conferences more than I love any other social gathering. Conferences have so much to offer everyone, of every age. (Actually, since finding my tribe, I find that much of what I wrote about not sharing my emotions has become completely untrue when I’m with them!)
For me, I’m a people watcher. I much prefer to sit back and watch the goings on then be all sucked up into the middle of it. One night at the conference dance, as I looked on into the crowd of children and parents, I was reminded how the world should be. It is our obligation to give our children that world, not to force upon them a world as we have made it. Amidst the faces in the dancing sea, I notice quirky, creative, and confident children and uninhibited adults basking in the glow of their awesomeness. Those kids are the lucky ones, the ones who have shown their parents the way toward more peaceful and gentle ways. Those parents are the blessed ones, who without those amazing children wouldn’t be parents at all. Most of these children, would be eaten alive by the school system and the social order and many have risen from being crushed such an atrocity on the human spirit. Every last child in the world deserves such a beautiful life and it makes me sad that they can’t all have it. It makes me even sadder that the ones who can have it, won’t ever get it.
We’re taught to point our fingers at everyone but ourselves. It’s the problem with school, the problem with society, and even the problem with government. Most parents could never unschool, because they don’t want to take that deep hard look at themselves. Not being in control scares the hell out of people. People spend 18 or more years under someone else control and living in shame and fear. They have no idea in the world what might happen if they allow children to leave their control. That’s where the fear begins. Fear holds us back and prevents of from remembering that this is just a life. It is a glorious, wonderful life and we should be living it! Sadly, most don’t even know what that means.
As I sat in the chair watching all those out of control children of life, a sea of toddlers, kids, teens, and parents I thought to myself, this is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen; a gleaming example of people being honored for being right where they are. A gathering of unschoolers meets a myriad of needs. Some of us like to sit back and observe, some of like dance with our friends, and some of us like to get on that stage and shine like we never have before. Yeah, you know who I’m talking about! Differences are fascinating and in unschooling those differences are embraced, nurtured, and protected. Now THAT is monumental change.
Haven’t been over here in a little bit and loving the new blog design. Your header is gorgeous!
We’ve yet to go to a conference yet thought every read one of your or Tara’s accounts of one I promise that we will. I completely agree with your–we need all types. Allowing myself to move into this mentality a few years back really opened up a door of self-love and self-acceptance. I no longer had to worry about proving myself the best at this or that and I no longer had to do a certain unappealing thing b/c it would make me a better person. I could just be me. What a freakin revelation right? lol. Crazy it took my schooled self 20 something years to figure that out!
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What a great post–I so enjoyed it!
We have yet to attend any kind of unschooling conference, but I have no doubt that such a gathering is inspiring! Nothing like meeting like-minded folks. We’ve met a few along the way and always been overjoyed!
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Beautiful Heather! I’m also one of those people that doesn’t like to share the deeper stuff or the uncomfortable stuff with people. I want to handle everything on my own too. I’ve found much more willingness to be “vulnerable” with my unschooling tribe. I find the conferences a mix of the beauty and also the overwhelming stimulation. But through the gatherings I have met and grown my “chosen family”. So incredibly important!
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me too.
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We attended UWWG this past Feb. and I hate so much that I didn’t introduce myself to you. I loved your colorful headscarves and had great intentions of overcoming my fears and just telling you. I also missed yours and TJ’s talk. I hope we are able to attend next year…we had a lot of fun. If I had an endless supply of funds we would go to several conferences a year for sure. Glad you had a good time!
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Heather Reply:
June 1st, 2010 at 9:30 am
We’ll be there next year! I too wish I had unlimited funds just for conferences. I’m going to miss my east coast bunch A LOT this year.
I’ve recently been told that my online presence might be a bit intimidating for people, between my blog and my total ridiculousness on Facebook. 0:-) (I was hoping a little angel face would appear there, oh well) I assure you though… I’m the one who will probably struggle with something to say! LOL Like a friend explained, I’m not an introvert I just have some social anxiety much like everyone else.
Hope to meet you next time!!!
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What a beautiful description of what the conference was like for you. I so wish I lived closer and could attend, so many of my online unschooling friends were there.
Until I can make it to one though, I’m so glad to have all these wonderful reports to read that remind me that there is are a bunch of people who think like we do and one day we’ll get to dance with them.
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Sounds like the other conferences we have attended — positively lovely! We’re going to do everything in our power to make LIG next year. Looking forward to meeting everyone there!
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LiG was awesome…. It was our first conference ever — and we are brand new unschoolers. I have never ever ever ever felt so comfortable with a group of people!! What a marvelous tribe we have found. I’m so grateful.
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I so knew we fit in just perfectly when M decided to perfect her headstand during the talent show standing on her head on top of a chair as she kept flopping her feet up, skirt by her head, panties showing, legs flopping this way & that. I was trying to help her steady her legs & so they didn’t end up in the neighbors face. But that said neighbor said something along the lines – oh don’t worry about it. We think it’s great!
I like this alot… “Most parents could never unschool, because they don’t want to take that deep hard look at themselves. Not being in control scares the hell out of people. People spend 18 or more years under someone else control and living in shame and fear. They have no idea in the world what might happen if they allow children to leave their control. That’s where the fear begins. Fear holds us back and prevents of from remembering that this is just a life. It is a glorious, wonderful life and we should be living it! Sadly, most don’t even know what that means.” b/c it is so what my journey has looked like the past 2 years & is totally what I have found unschooling to look like for me – taking a deep hard look at MYSELF!!
thanks for encouraging me to go to LIG! It was life changing for us!
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Life is Good was my first unschooling conference. I was so nervous before going, but as soon as I got there it just felt right and good. I am very much the introvert, but I had an amazing time! I can’t wait for next year and next year we’ll be staying at the hotel. I feel like we lost so much driving back and forth. I wish I would have gotten to meet you. Maybe next year!
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Heather Reply:
June 1st, 2010 at 7:08 pm
@Heather – You’re welcome. I KNEW you’d enjoy it. I’m so happy to have met you here and find out you unschool! Woo-hoo!
You can be my facebook friend shady lady! There’s a link on the left hand side of my blog.
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Hi, my sons are 7, 5, and 3 and we don’t know any other unschoolers! We belong to a homeschooling group that is accepting of our approach, but I would really, really like to actually meet someone else who feels the same way that we do. Do you have any ideas of how to connect with other homeschoolers in our area. We live in West Central Indiana. I would really appreciate any advice. Thanks!
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I meant to ask about connecting with other “unschoolers”, not “homeschoolers”. Sorry!
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Heather Reply:
June 2nd, 2010 at 10:30 am
Melissa… I would just start friending unschoolers on facebook! We have a huge network there, and you will undoubtedly find some local or semi-local peeps. I’ll go suggest some for you.
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