Comments on: Wise Men Sleep When They Are Tired http://www.eclecticreality.net/2010/06/wise-men-sleep-when-they-are-tired/ Mon, 06 Feb 2012 22:42:39 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Radical Unschooling and Bedtime « Lisa Russell's Blog http://www.eclecticreality.net/2010/06/wise-men-sleep-when-they-are-tired/comment-page-1/#comment-12767 Radical Unschooling and Bedtime « Lisa Russell's Blog Sun, 05 Jun 2011 01:32:53 +0000 http://www.swissarmywife.net/?p=1238#comment-12767 [...] from Swiss Army Wife recently blogged about her family’s bedtime ritual “Wise men Sleep when they are tired.” and she made a great medical and psychological defense against crib usage and forced [...] [...] from Swiss Army Wife recently blogged about her family’s bedtime ritual “Wise men Sleep when they are tired.” and she made a great medical and psychological defense against crib usage and forced [...]

]]> By: Sunday (un)School: Nighty Night.. « Unbounded Ocean http://www.eclecticreality.net/2010/06/wise-men-sleep-when-they-are-tired/comment-page-1/#comment-8103 Sunday (un)School: Nighty Night.. « Unbounded Ocean Sat, 29 Jan 2011 13:03:43 +0000 http://www.swissarmywife.net/?p=1238#comment-8103 [...] http://www.swissarmywife.net/2010/06/wise-men-sleep-when-they-are-tired/comment-page-1/#comment-1815 [...] [...] http://www.swissarmywife.net/2010/06/wise-men-sleep-when-they-are-tired/comment-page-1/#comment-1815 [...]

]]> By: Night Life -July 2010 Blog Carnival: | Enjoy Life Unschooling http://www.eclecticreality.net/2010/06/wise-men-sleep-when-they-are-tired/comment-page-1/#comment-1896 Night Life -July 2010 Blog Carnival: | Enjoy Life Unschooling Thu, 01 Jul 2010 11:51:44 +0000 http://www.swissarmywife.net/?p=1238#comment-1896 [...] of Swiss Army Wife writes how they she has shifted her perspective from controlling sleep into embracing her [...] [...] of Swiss Army Wife writes how they she has shifted her perspective from controlling sleep into embracing her [...]

]]> By: Linda http://www.eclecticreality.net/2010/06/wise-men-sleep-when-they-are-tired/comment-page-1/#comment-1842 Linda Fri, 18 Jun 2010 17:15:25 +0000 http://www.swissarmywife.net/?p=1238#comment-1842 In my own parenting journey of 13 years and four kids, experience has shown me that the amount of physical closeness and time spent being attentive makes a huge difference in the relationship and sense of well-being. People think they're "fine" only because they don't know what they're missing. I feel so strongly about it because it pains me to think of what would have been lost if we'd listened to popular "wisdom" and the "experts". I wrote a little about it five years ago: http://cottonwoodjournal.blogspot.com/2005/12/sleeping-with-baby.html. Your post is making me feel inspired to sit down and write about what more I've found out about it since! In my own parenting journey of 13 years and four kids, experience has shown me that the amount of physical closeness and time spent being attentive makes a huge difference in the relationship and sense of well-being. People think they’re “fine” only because they don’t know what they’re missing. I feel so strongly about it because it pains me to think of what would have been lost if we’d listened to popular “wisdom” and the “experts”. I wrote a little about it five years ago: http://cottonwoodjournal.blogspot.com/2005/12/sleeping-with-baby.html. Your post is making me feel inspired to sit down and write about what more I’ve found out about it since!

]]> By: Foster http://www.eclecticreality.net/2010/06/wise-men-sleep-when-they-are-tired/comment-page-1/#comment-1839 Foster Fri, 18 Jun 2010 03:28:12 +0000 http://www.swissarmywife.net/?p=1238#comment-1839 "I wouldn’t leave a baby and a 1 year old in a room together alone anyway." Yeah, it's pretty much a recipe for disaster, lol, although dd1 is two-yrs-old now. At any rate, I totally agree that it is not right to force a child to stay in a crib if they don't want to. When dd2 wakes up and starts making her noises, I go in right away and get her. And she is nice and happy to rejoin us b/c she has gotten a lovely uninterrupted sleep! “I wouldn’t leave a baby and a 1 year old in a room together alone anyway.”

Yeah, it’s pretty much a recipe for disaster, lol, although dd1 is two-yrs-old now. At any rate, I totally agree that it is not right to force a child to stay in a crib if they don’t want to. When dd2 wakes up and starts making her noises, I go in right away and get her. And she is nice and happy to rejoin us b/c she has gotten a lovely uninterrupted sleep!

]]> By: Kelly http://www.eclecticreality.net/2010/06/wise-men-sleep-when-they-are-tired/comment-page-1/#comment-1837 Kelly Thu, 17 Jun 2010 20:07:08 +0000 http://www.swissarmywife.net/?p=1238#comment-1837 This is a wonderful article. I sincerely hope the effort you've put into it not only affirms those of us who have these wonderful sleep relationships, but helps other parents and carers branch out into something new. The "set" and stern bedtime is something most parents do (or believe they should do... feeling guilty if they don't) and is something even made more stressful with those who do school or have highly-scheduled lives. Thanks for delineating a blueprint for a new way to do things! This is a wonderful article. I sincerely hope the effort you’ve put into it not only affirms those of us who have these wonderful sleep relationships, but helps other parents and carers branch out into something new. The “set” and stern bedtime is something most parents do (or believe they should do… feeling guilty if they don’t) and is something even made more stressful with those who do school or have highly-scheduled lives. Thanks for delineating a blueprint for a new way to do things!

]]> By: another Heather http://www.eclecticreality.net/2010/06/wise-men-sleep-when-they-are-tired/comment-page-1/#comment-1833 another Heather Thu, 17 Jun 2010 15:52:47 +0000 http://www.swissarmywife.net/?p=1238#comment-1833 I have followed M's sleep patterns & *love* the fact that she knows when she's tired & tells me at age 3.5. I have always trusted that she knew. And she does know. If she's tired at 5 pm she takes a nap (even if it's not so convenient to me as I know she will up late, etc.) She still often requests a nap. It's not always my preference, but she obviously needs it. But also she has always slept with me, in my bed or on me in a carrier or in my lap. Which is nice b/c she will still nap when we are out at times. She has also never been told it's time for bed, but I do tell her that I am tired & am going to bed. At times she chooses to play quietly while I sleep. K likes to still lay down w/ dh & usually chooses to goto bed when he does (as he has a work schedule he follows), or waits until we goto bed (as me & M are more night owls). I also have to say that I can count on one hand how many times I have ever woken them up for anything. It's so nice to allow them the space for the rest that they need. I haven't had a clock in my room for 6 or 7 years now & it is sooo nice not to worry about what time it is!! I have followed M’s sleep patterns & *love* the fact that she knows when she’s tired & tells me at age 3.5. I have always trusted that she knew. And she does know. If she’s tired at 5 pm she takes a nap (even if it’s not so convenient to me as I know she will up late, etc.) She still often requests a nap. It’s not always my preference, but she obviously needs it. But also she has always slept with me, in my bed or on me in a carrier or in my lap. Which is nice b/c she will still nap when we are out at times. She has also never been told it’s time for bed, but I do tell her that I am tired & am going to bed. At times she chooses to play quietly while I sleep. K likes to still lay down w/ dh & usually chooses to goto bed when he does (as he has a work schedule he follows), or waits until we goto bed (as me & M are more night owls). I also have to say that I can count on one hand how many times I have ever woken them up for anything. It’s so nice to allow them the space for the rest that they need. I haven’t had a clock in my room for 6 or 7 years now & it is sooo nice not to worry about what time it is!!

]]> By: Lauren http://www.eclecticreality.net/2010/06/wise-men-sleep-when-they-are-tired/comment-page-1/#comment-1830 Lauren Thu, 17 Jun 2010 11:22:34 +0000 http://www.swissarmywife.net/?p=1238#comment-1830 One thing about cribs/cots -- they keep the baby safe (and asleep) from their older siblings. I have often let the baby doze on the floor in the playroom (she is rolling now so can't be on the bed), and she sometimes gets woken up by boisterous children stepping on her. I think she prefers the safety of the cot. (Just realised Foster said mostly the same thing. But I like your educational philosophy and will be back again! :) ) One thing about cribs/cots — they keep the baby safe (and asleep) from their older siblings. I have often let the baby doze on the floor in the playroom (she is rolling now so can’t be on the bed), and she sometimes gets woken up by boisterous children stepping on her. I think she prefers the safety of the cot.
(Just realised Foster said mostly the same thing. But I like your educational philosophy and will be back again! :) )

]]> By: Heather http://www.eclecticreality.net/2010/06/wise-men-sleep-when-they-are-tired/comment-page-1/#comment-1828 Heather Thu, 17 Jun 2010 05:21:39 +0000 http://www.swissarmywife.net/?p=1238#comment-1828 The little bit on cribs is my personal opinion and experience. While I understand what you mean I'd like to respond to a couple things you mention. "you could not leave the two of them alone in the room." I wouldn't leave a baby and a 1 year old in a room together alone anyway. If someone is sleeping in a room, it seems perfectly fair to me to ask someone else to stay out if they cannot or will not be quiet/respectful. In this case she is not old enough to understand, so I would certainly keep her out while the other is napping. What I speak of hear is not a "method". There is no underlying motive to "get them to bed". We simply respect their autonomy by acknowledging that they are not tired and do not wish to go sleep. That's pretty much it. The little bit on cribs is my personal opinion and experience. While I understand what you mean I’d like to respond to a couple things you mention.

“you could not leave the two of them alone in the room.”

I wouldn’t leave a baby and a 1 year old in a room together alone anyway. If someone is sleeping in a room, it seems perfectly fair to me to ask someone else to stay out if they cannot or will not be quiet/respectful. In this case she is not old enough to understand, so I would certainly keep her out while the other is napping.

What I speak of hear is not a “method”. There is no underlying motive to “get them to bed”. We simply respect their autonomy by acknowledging that they are not tired and do not wish to go sleep. That’s pretty much it.

]]> By: Foster http://www.eclecticreality.net/2010/06/wise-men-sleep-when-they-are-tired/comment-page-1/#comment-1827 Foster Thu, 17 Jun 2010 03:37:27 +0000 http://www.swissarmywife.net/?p=1238#comment-1827 Cribs are not just to keep kids in, they are also to keep kids OUT. By sleeping in a crib, dd2 is ensured a peaceful sleep that is undisturbed by her older sister. She spent the first few weeks of her life never sleeping in the crib, but once dd1 really became aware of her presence, you could not leave the two of them alone in the room. Not so great for a baby who is napping on the couch & the toddler climbs up and pokes her in the face and laughs. I cannot just tell dd1 to stay out of the bedroom as the two girls share a room & that would not be fair, either. And, yes, even v young infants can accidentally scooch off the bed; dd1 almost did when she was two months old, head-first. No one in our house is ever forced to sleep in a crib. DD1 decided that she did not like it and that was that. A crib is just another tool & it can help provide a safe & respected sleeping area. We have found that it is much easier to let the toddler stay up until you are ready to go to bed yourself than to try and make her go to bed. There is never a fight w/ this method :) Cribs are not just to keep kids in, they are also to keep kids OUT. By sleeping in a crib, dd2 is ensured a peaceful sleep that is undisturbed by her older sister. She spent the first few weeks of her life never sleeping in the crib, but once dd1 really became aware of her presence, you could not leave the two of them alone in the room. Not so great for a baby who is napping on the couch & the toddler climbs up and pokes her in the face and laughs. I cannot just tell dd1 to stay out of the bedroom as the two girls share a room & that would not be fair, either. And, yes, even v young infants can accidentally scooch off the bed; dd1 almost did when she was two months old, head-first. No one in our house is ever forced to sleep in a crib. DD1 decided that she did not like it and that was that. A crib is just another tool & it can help provide a safe & respected sleeping area.

We have found that it is much easier to let the toddler stay up until you are ready to go to bed yourself than to try and make her go to bed. There is never a fight w/ this method :)

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