Welcome! Actually, that wasn’t for you. It was for me. I’m welcoming myself back to my blog. I’ve taken a nice long break from blogging. I guess that sort of sucks for everyone wondering what the heck we’ve been up to in Seattle! I’ve taken a short hiatus from writing. I’ve taken up some other passions like baking (cupcakes duh!) and I started playing World of Warcraft with the boys. Actually, we are ALL playing WoW now. It’s a whole other post.
The truth is, life isn’t terribly exciting right now. It’s definitely not boring… but it’s not new surprises every day. Life doesn’t have to be exciting to be full. For awhile now, I’ve felt quite at peace with our lives and the direction we have all gone in. There is a calm feeling in our home, it feels happy. Sure we moved to a new place. Sure, we *could* find a different activity to do every single day of the week. Sure, we could go on a different hike, every single day and never go the same spot twice! The problem with that is this: the kids are perfectly happy to stay home.
I completely 100% respect there decision to stay home a lot. I have made mistakes here and there, but in reality, if we want to go somewhere and they do not, their decision is completely respected. I believe they have plenty of time in their young lives to explore and if now is not the right time, then so be it. They can stay home and play video games or jump on the trampoline.
If I force them to go, do I think they will have fun anyway? Of course I do! Kids are readily adaptable to many situations and generally aren’t going to throw themselves a pity party all day long. (I’m sure some do, I was pretty good at grudging when I was a child!) What I refuse to do though, is disrespect their freedom to choose for themselves. That’s not fair.
In some situations, I may encourage an outing, some fresh air, or try and make worth their while by stopping and doing something they would like to do. On occasion, those gentle nudges can be helpful. However, if they say no. I respect that no. Children have the right to say “no” and have their “no” honored.
Living in the city, I have come across overscheduled children like I have never seen before. The faster pace of life is new to me, and at first it was a wee bit shocking. I don’t know if I could mentally handle all of the things that people have their kids doing these days! I actually consider myself lucky to have some laid back gamers on my hands.
Slowly, we are building relationships with people and activities. We’re finding friends in unexpected places. I love keeping a nice slow pace. Settling in to a new place has taken a long, long time and I see no reason to push it too hard. My kids are incredibly happy and sociable and do not seem to be suffering any video game brain rot and stunted growth from too much trampoline time. Huh. Imagine that.
Welcome back Heather. Hope you enjoyed you’re time away. (Talking to yourself in digital format is a whole new level of crazy!)
It’s funny that you should talk about being homebodies in this post… I’ve been struggling with that exact thing all morning. I feel like the days are blurring together and we aren’t doing much of anything too interesting or worthy of writing about. We tend to just hang. And I was starting to get stressed that there are things we’re “supposed” to be doing… and I had to sit myself down and think long and hard about it before I realized, we like being at home. Silas is plenty responsible enough to stay home by himself when I need to run an errand or two, and he’s been doing it for awhile. I don’t feel like leaving the house most days, I just don’t… we’re homebodies and there is NOTHING wrong with that, whatsoever.
I’m glad to have another homebody in you.
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Thanks, Heather. I needed to read this today. I was feeling sad and trapped in my home today while also wanting to meet the needs of my son who wanted a home day.
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Love this post, and welcome back, although I’m new here so didn’t miss you.
I appreciate your words as I have been wrestling with out vs. in myself of late. Outings vs. staying home, outside vs. indoors, it’s amazing the rules I have found in my head about all of it. Relax, mama. (That’s me talking to myself on your blog, a new level of crazy indeed.) Nice to meet you! Relax!
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Heather Reply:
August 10th, 2010 at 3:29 pm
I try and make my home available so people can visit us instead! LOL And actually it works pretty well. When looking for this house one of the requirements was a large gathering space. We opted for that instead of large (or enough) bedrooms.
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Even though we live together, and talk all the time, I totally missed you while you were away from your blog. Nobody is happier to see you writing than me.
You’re still going to keep making cupcakes though, right?
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Thank you for this Heather! We are also home A LOT. Logan (4 on Saturday!) doesn’t like crowds or crying kids. Both are very hard to avoid living in NYC. Enjoy hanging at home! Oh and the cupcakes of course.
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I can really relate to your topic of staying home and feeling that it’s completely FINE.
I have two boys who are 21 and 19 and in their younger years, they were over-scheduled with sports. Later on, they didn’t want to do sports (or any organized “activity”) and it was fine with me. We spent a lot of time together as a family, just hanging out. I am so glad it worked out that way because my oldest is now in the Navy and I only see him a couple of times a year. My 19 year old is out and about hanging with friends and working. If we had been running around, being overscheduled during their late middle and high school years, I would have missed out on so much of the already mind-boggling short time I did have with them. Can’t get that back. I’ll take “home-body” over “activity-overdrive” ANY day! 
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Welcome back from you break from blogging, Heather. I agree with Jasie, it is funny that you should write this post now. Living where we do (Maine) it seems like in the summer, especially, but every season really, I always have that Voice telling me we should be out-at the beach, hiking, doing something cultural–anything but staying home. But this summer, for now, my kids are at a place where home is good for them and if they want to get out it’s more about meeting up with friends than it is about boogie boarding at the beach. (Nevermind that other nagging Voice that talks to me about the $$ it takes to go out and do many of these adventures Maine has to offer–you know, cheap ones, like sailing or downhill skiing? That’s a whole other post…) Anyway, so glad you enjoyed your cupcake baking and WoW and the pleasures of home with the family. That’s wonderful.
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yeah – we like being at home too – it’s nice and cozy here and you don’t have to wear shoes
i am constantly amazed (NOT in a good way) at how busy some people and their kids are. when and where is the time to think and daydream and explore with all that busy-ness? sad to me really.
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I think it’s really important that kids have down time. They need to be able to think and get in touch with their inner person. I think that’s probably the most important knowledge a person can have.
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I’m a homebody. Except when I’m not. Welcome back!
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Thanks for the reminder. Princess is very social, but isn’t really into outdoor adventures at the moment. I’m not much of an outdoor girl, but wish I was. Sometimes I wonder and feel a little guilty that her lack of nature interest may be my fault. :-/
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Welcome back!
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