We returned from the UWWG (Unschooler’s Winter Waterpark Gathering) yesterday. A fabulous time was had by all and many, many thanks to all the organizers! While, most unschooling conferences are smaller, and are geared toward unschoolers and the unschooling interested, the UWWG is a bit different since it’s open for homeschoolers to unschoolers and everything in between, so long as you take a child-led non-schooly approach or are interested in leaning that way.
TJ and I had a lot of fun speaking together. I can’t think of anyone else I would rather share the stage with! I felt that our talk went well. It was well attended too. I remember looking around the room thinking to myself… “Wow… there’s a lot of people here, I hope we say something good!” I felt so at ease speaking this time, of course I always feel at ease with TJ at my side. I think the last time I spoke I really built up the fear and drove myself nuts. I won’t do that again! When we finished, I glanced down at my phone to check the time. Only 30 minutes had passed! Tj and I had microphones, were talking together, and about unschooling and we had only used up 30 minutes. How on earth did that even happen??? I swear our talk was much longer. As inexperienced speakers, we didn’t quite understand the importance of making sure we filled up the time slot.
Tj opened up the floor to questions. Someone wanted advice on how to be a better mom when it feels like your energy has run out. Someone else wanted assurance that her children would grow to be functional adults. It seems to me that when people are in the beginning of unschooling they get hung up on things likes college, household chores or bedtime. Every unschooling talk ends up with one of these types of questions. It’s not what our presentation was about, but are hot button issues. As an inexperienced speaker I had a little trouble keeping the discussion on topic and away from becoming an argument. Things got a little tense and some became defensive over their lifestyle choices. I was a little disappointed about this. I really enjoyed sharing our story and loved talking about unschooling and I was so hoping that everyone would leave inspired, not defensive. In the end I received some really good feedback at the conference or through email about our talk and people really did enjoy it. Dayna Martin wrote a nice email reminding me, “Ya, the talk got intense, but it is through those moments of intensity that new ideas are embraced. It was through the seemingly negative responses that others were able to really elaborate on Unschooling philosophy! People learned so much from your talk! Frustration and and anger is sometimes part of the process for many people learning alternatives.” Ahh… just what I needed to hear.
This bit of discussion has had me thinking about the difference between Unschooling and Radical Unschooling. I think many people view Unschooling as a lack of curriculum and Radical Unschooling as applying the philosophy to their whole lives. While I love the term Radical Unschooling, I personally do not view it any differently than just Unschooling. There is NO difference. It doesn’t happen all at once for everyone, some take longer than others to get there, and that is OK. I think the general rule of thumb is take one month for every year you spent in school to truly deschool yourself. Someone accused me of being judgmental for pointing out what wasn’t unschooling, when I felt I was simply being informative.
First of all, it’s perfectly OK to not be an Unschooler. Some people seem to view Unschooling as a secret little, elitist club and get awfully defensive. There is nothing wrong with being an eclectic homeschooler or a relaxed homeschooler. Unschooling is still extremely controversial, when we start having all these different levels of Uschooling it sort of muddies up the label and becomes extremely unclear to those who would like to learn or observe.
In my opinion, it is not going to be successful to compartmentalize Unschooling. It’s a lifestyle. Unschoolers live in freedom, they learn everyday, from everything. Their world is limitless, and there are no subjects or rules. The world is full of connections, not separations. Yet when we as parents, impose rules on the lives of our “Unschooled” children we are disengaging life from learning. We are telling them that even though we believe they can learn what they need to know, that ultimately they cannot decide when they are tired, or hungry, or ready to help pick up the house. Unschooling isn’t going to work if the illusion of control is maintained over our children.
I truly believe that Unschooling will not work if not used as a whole life philosophy. So, what do you think? Am I too late to the party? Has the labels Unschooling and Radical Unschooling already become separate? Or should we maintain that they are one in the same? Pass this on, I want to hear your thoughts.
Remember Reagan? My brother’s hopeless ass-wipe of a rescue dog that couldn’t stop shitting in every room of my new house? Yeah that’s her. Often, I really, really don’t like her. Yet, just when I think it couldn’t get any worse, she manages to amuse the hatred right out of my body.
Shane (my brother) found himself a new apartment and moved out last week. I’m glad to see him get his own space, but I do miss him. Honestly, the only stress I felt while he was here concerned Reagan. After hell-week over the holidays I’ve never really felt like I could trust her out of my sight. For Christmas I got Shane a dog breed DNA test kit. We all just had to know why she sucked so badly at being a dog.
The whole time Shane was staying here we waited for those results. Everytime we checked the mail, we hoped those results would be in. We were SURE she was at least part Dachshund. I was sure she was not a Corgi but was definitely part Chihuahua. We joked that she was probably half German Shepherd. Well, the results came in the other day. Nothing could have prepared us for what they said. Our little 15lb Reagan is part: (in order from left to right on the photo) Maltese, German Shepherd, Saluki, Irish Setter, Belgian Tervuren, Chihuahua, Pembroke Welsh Corgi, and Chinese Shar Pei.
What the…??? I can barely believe my eyes, still. It’s so fascinating and amusing and downright amazing. I highly recommend the DNA test for anyone with a mixed breed dog. You can find the instructions in PDF form here. At first glance, with 13 steps it can look quite complicated, but really you are just swabbing the inside of your dogs mouth, and placing it into a sterile package for testing. When we got the results, the kids and I spent some time researching dog breeds and enjoyed lots of laughter together! Now, when Shane brings her for a walk, or I bring her to the dog park we can proudly state that she is a German Shepherd mix.
Last night we all hopped in the Suburban to go to Michael’s. The kids need some modeling clay and set material for stop motion films. The Michael’s here is big, laid out pretty well. They carry a lot more interesting products too. I’m pretty excited they are having a sale on canvasses as I’ve been wanting to start painting. Oil or Acrylic? It all seems to be in the eye of the painter. I’ve painted with acrylic before, I’d really like to set myself up with oils. I was also able to replace the tempera paint that froze and clumped during the move. While the red looked like lumpy paint, the yellow was reminiscent of newborn baby poop. Definitely in need of new paint. I can’t ever get out of that store without at least 5 things I didn’t plan on and without spending t least 20 dollars more than I had intended!
JoAnne’s was across the street. The kids had all fallen asleep so it was just Skylar and I. I left TJ with the sleeping babes in the car and Skylar and I ventured into fabric heaven to find something new for our chairs. They are old and dingy and have been through things I don’t even want to mention. I *will* mention the paint and marker and the food spills and the holes. It’s time. They need to be recovered. I poured over a lot of fabric not really finding what I was looking for. I’ve been on a green and purple kick for awhile so I sort of wanted something with both colors. I also wanted something busy so that paint or food spills wouldn’t show up too bad. Lastly, something bright and happy but not loud! I think I managed to succeed in everything I was looking for except it doesn’t have purple. It has pink instead!
When I finally got to the counter with my cut fabric and slip, the cashier said “That will be 5 dollars and 36 cents.” I just looked at her and said, “Seriously!?”. I didn’t notice it was on sale, but even so I just bought 4 yards of fabric for 5 dollars and 36 cents. Score!!!
After we had our party the other day I woke up in the morning to see the mess and said, “Wow! My house looks happy!” In the fabric store I described some fabrics as looking “angry” or “loud”. After I covered the chairs I noticed that they looked “happy” and “inviting”. This actually brought up an interesting conversation with Skylar. He didn’t really understand what I was saying. He says that houses and fabrics and chairs can’t be “happy” or “loud”. He is an extremely literal child. In the past I had to be extremely clear with my words to him or he wouldn’t understand me. This is the first time it came up in a long time and I’m glad it did. It was fun explaining to him that I thought if the house were alive it would happy that people partied in it! Also, that if the fabric had a voice, it would be screaming!
Oh and… the chairs really ARE inviting. Shortly after I finished I came into the kitchen and the table looked like this!
The last few days have been for socializing. On Saturday we invited Ronnie and Frank Maier and their girls, and Dana Ellis and her family over for a small pot luck dinner. We have also become friends with a local homeschooling family with 2 girls and invited them too. We had a GREAT time. Good food, good wine, good friends. I couldn’t ask for anything more. And when Milo came up the stairs and exclaimed, “We have new fwends!”, my heart couldn’t have been happier. He’s really been missing friends. He isn’t quite old enough to put his finger on who he misses for friends, but he knows he was missing playmates and companionship. He’s even put aside his aversion to girls and is enjoying our new friends Layla and Mia. Dana brought us some of her famous coffee, She’s roasts and sells at farmer’s markets in her area, and it’s really good! Even TJ who doesn’t really discern different coffee much , was surprised how delicious it was.
It was Layla’s birthday last night and they all invited us to an artisan ice cream shop called Full Tilt. I’m a basic vanilla gal and enjoyed mine with rainbow sprinkles of course! TJ tried the mexican chocolate which has a deep chocolatey flavor with a hint of cinnamon. They also carry Ube (a sort of sweet potato), Horchata, and Memphis King which is peanut butter, banana, and chocolate covered bacon! They’ll even let you create a flavor if you have your birthday party there! I can only imagine what *my* kids would pick! In addition to the ice cream they serve local beer, sometimes host local bands, and is home to a slew of vintage pinball and video games which I think they rotate out on occasion. The kids had a blast and I was thrilled to see arcade games that cost a quarter to play! Just like old times! The guy working at the counter, which I’m pretty sure was the owner, was also really friendly with us and the kids. That’s also important to me. I can’t count how many times we’ve gone somewhere and the employees treat the kids like a nuisance. I love when my boys can interact with with people in the community. It’s so important for them to see how the world works. Through meeting others around us they learn about so many different things. We all can’t wait to go back!
This is the only nursing picture I have. I had one more from the hospital but it’s awful with the IV in my arm and all. This picture reminds me that Phoenix is probably the last baby I’ll ever nurse. We’re pretty happy at 3. I did want a girl, but I’m also quite certain I do not want 4.
We began weaning while back. He was teething and chewing and I thought I couldn’t bare it. For a long time I didn’t offer and I didn’t refuse. Then we seemed to have journeyed somehow back to full time nursing. He slowed down again in the months before we moved, and stayed that way until recently.
He doesn’t sleep at night. He nurses ALL night long. Then maybe once during the day. I talked it over with my husband, and made the decision to night wean. We were already back to the don’t offer/don’t refuse pattern and he was rarely asking during the day. Except at night when he’d wake 3 and 4 times. On the first night, when he woke up instead of offering him my breast, TJ got up with him. They watched Blue’s Clue’s and drank milk together. After about an hour and a half he started asking for me. So I got up and watched Blue’s Clue’s and rocked him and distracted him with lollipops. Eventually he fell back asleep around 7am and we all slept in until 10:30 or so. We made it! With no night nursing!
The next day he didn’t even ask to nurse and we had one nursing session after dinner. I offered. It was against my plan but, I was starting to hurt. That night he cried some. He was understandably sad. I do believe crying is a necessary part of the process but, he was easily consoled and again we watched Blue’s Clue’s, had lollipops, and drank milk. He fell asleep faster again the second night than the previous night.
My ultimate goal was night weaning as gently as humanly possible. I have been so exhausted for a 1.5 that i feel like the whole thing has a been a fog. I felt that all that nursing at night and that losing sleep was really taking away from the type of parent I wanted to be for all of them. That was my driving factor. Phoenix never asked to nurse again after that second night. He has been off the breast for a week or so. I couldn’t imagine in my wildest dreams it would have been so fast. I only nursed the other children until under a year and I remember them just stopping. No big deal. They just stopped. When Phoenix nursed and became so attached the way he did, it was all new territory for me.
On one hand it feels great to sleep and to have him so effortlessly wean. On the other hand I am sad. My hormones are totally whacked out. I didn’t really expect it to go so well and so fast, so now I’ve been sent into a small depression. I’ll get past it soon enough., just hopefully I can find a little space this weekend. He also happens to be most cuddly baby on this entire earth, that helps.
Here is my tiny guy enjoying one of many corn-dogs he had last week. He has weighed in at 22lbs for what seems like forever now. You’d think a corn dog or two might help! Reminds me of Milo and how tiny he was as a baby. So stinkin’ cute.
Shrimpy (adopted by Skylar)
Heego (adopted by Phoenix)
Shark (adopted by Milo)
Taco E. Burrito (adopted by TJ)
Vice Admiral Jupiter Weinerface (adopted by Shane)
Pinksicle (adopted by me)
In case you didn’t know, that is my little brother, Shane. The dynamic of having a third adult in the house has been remarkably pleasant. I’m sure he isn’t used to 3 kids running around, much less 3 kids that stay up until midnight or later but, he seems unphased by it all. Really it comes as no surprise since we’ve always been so close. He’s also really into radical unschooling and enjoys talking and learning about it. If he wasn’t so open to it I’m not sure he would be living here at all. I’m sure none of us would be able to handle that. He also hopes to unschool his own kids someday. I guess first we need to get him his own place and a wife. But that’s a whole other problem…
He is quiet sometimes,
and introspective at other times,
definitely the leader of the pack,
he is brilliant and wild,
I Love You Milo. Happy Birthday!We had our first play-date the other day with a local homeschooling mom with two girls. She took us around Lincoln Park. West Seattle has some amazing parks. Lot’s of them have nature trails and playgrounds. Lincoln Park happens to have a pool, on the beach. Skylar was pretty excited about that!
We’re babysitting my niece, Reagan, for the holidays. She’s kind of a pain in the ass, but Linky Soda seems to like her. I know this because they spend a fair amount of time humping each others heads. I even caught them engaged in some sort of *double hump*. At the very least, we are entertained!
Gramma Chrissy sent up some goodies from The Popcorn Factory. The kids made monsters.
Mine looked more like a sad birthday boy that I can’t seem to stop giggling at.
The big hits were the stockings! They got caps, and snappers, and those balls you clang together and they spark. Some fart whistles, and a lot of candy! By the way, you can get 5lbs of Yummy Earth organic lollipops from Amazon.com for a REALLY good deal. They are REALLY expensive in the grocery store. Phoenix about lost his mind when he saw them… so he had at least 3 in a 5 minute time period!
I must have been good, because Santa filled my stocking too! See?
It’s fairly cloudy around here most of the time. Our view of the Olympics is usually blocked. This morning, we were so blessed with warm sunlight and a view that takes my breath away. (Click to enlarge)
This was our Christmas Card photo if you haven’t seen it yet… So MERRY CHRISTMAS to all of our family and friends from Seattle!!!
Each year my brother and I get my mother a little something to add to a centerpiece collection that is three years in the making. This year marks the fourth year. The first year we got her small garden statues and let the boys decorate errr… vandalize them with sharpies. The second year… she got a bust of David with his lips and eyes painted cherry apple red. The third year… two medium sized, hand carved tusks. It really makes for a lovely table. We never let on that we aren’t dead serious in our gift giving. The one time she didn’t want to put the centerpiece out, we made sure to be upset. Yes, we are being brats, but it is oh so much fun! This year we got her a stuffed monkey, with leopard skin, dressed as a genie. Unfortunately, I don’t have any photos. Hopefully this year my brother can take one for me.
What I am REALLY blogging about here, is our trip to Marshall’s. Ross, TJ Maxx, and Marshall’s are the best places to find something for the centerpiece collection. They always seem to have the strangest and most obscure home decor in the world. We had a tie for second place if the monkey didn’t work out. The first item was two little angels, one was hugging the other angel. The huggee was missing his head and it looked eerily as if the first angel had *hugged* it off. Awesome. I didn’t get a photo but the little statue is sitting to the left of the next item in the photo. The next item was this:
If you know me, you know I seem to have an eye for the strange, odd, or just plain weird. You did see my last blog right? Just imagine my delight when I came across this beauty. This lovely piece of metal art *was* a cross. However, when it broke someone welded it back together and turned it from Christian symbol into a Satanic one. Then shipped it off to Marshall’s. Totally. Wicked. Awesome. And for 8 bucks I’m still wondering why on earth I didn’t buy it for my home. Please note the ambient glow coming from the top of the photo. It just makes it all that more appealing… maybe I’ll send TJ to see if it’s still there.
