Remember Reagan? My brother’s hopeless ass-wipe of a rescue dog that couldn’t stop shitting in every room of my new house? Yeah that’s her. Often, I really, really don’t like her. Yet, just when I think it couldn’t get any worse, she manages to amuse the hatred right out of my body.
Shane (my brother) found himself a new apartment and moved out last week. I’m glad to see him get his own space, but I do miss him. Honestly, the only stress I felt while he was here concerned Reagan. After hell-week over the holidays I’ve never really felt like I could trust her out of my sight. For Christmas I got Shane a dog breed DNA test kit. We all just had to know why she sucked so badly at being a dog.
The whole time Shane was staying here we waited for those results. Everytime we checked the mail, we hoped those results would be in. We were SURE she was at least part Dachshund. I was sure she was not a Corgi but was definitely part Chihuahua. We joked that she was probably half German Shepherd. Well, the results came in the other day. Nothing could have prepared us for what they said. Our little 15lb Reagan is part: (in order from left to right on the photo) Maltese, German Shepherd, Saluki, Irish Setter, Belgian Tervuren, Chihuahua, Pembroke Welsh Corgi, and Chinese Shar Pei.
What the…??? I can barely believe my eyes, still. It’s so fascinating and amusing and downright amazing. I highly recommend the DNA test for anyone with a mixed breed dog. You can find the instructions in PDF form here. At first glance, with 13 steps it can look quite complicated, but really you are just swabbing the inside of your dogs mouth, and placing it into a sterile package for testing. When we got the results, the kids and I spent some time researching dog breeds and enjoyed lots of laughter together! Now, when Shane brings her for a walk, or I bring her to the dog park we can proudly state that she is a German Shepherd mix.
Shrimpy (adopted by Skylar)
Heego (adopted by Phoenix)
Shark (adopted by Milo)
Taco E. Burrito (adopted by TJ)
Vice Admiral Jupiter Weinerface (adopted by Shane)
Pinksicle (adopted by me)
Last night I couldn’t sleep. It could have been the excitement I was was feeling from the studs I met at the dog park, or it could have been the stray lego guy that I swallowed. Sometime around 2am I threw up all over Linky’s crate. By the time your sister knew what was going on, I had already eaten it all back up minus the lego. You know what they say, *destroy the evidence*.
Today was mostly quiet. While Heather washed my blankets, I played with Linky a lot. He was nice, and shared his pillow with me. I humped him a few times. It’s getting annoying though because all he does is lay there. I mean come on… DO something!
Heather says I have a death wish since I jumped on the cat. She’s fast, but not as fast as Reagan the Rocket Dog! Your sister says I’m a little old lady and TJ’s mom says I should be named Raquelle. But I think I’m fast, like lightning.
They left me here again when the went to the Science Museum. Heather took me out when she got home and said she was going to walk me until I pooped. I totally held it the whole time. I’m getting really good at holding it until I really need to use it. When we went in, and no one was looking, I shit all over the kitchen floor. But then I thought… “Oh crap! I’ve already shit in the kitchen!” So I picked it up and tried to drag it to the hallway where I thought it would look much nicer. That’s when Heather caught me and a little piece broke off in my mouth. So… what else was I supposed to do? I ate it. You know what they say… *destroy the evidence*.
Love you dad. See you tomorrow!
Reagan
Your sister takes me out more often now. Today she took me out without a leash. She said I was such a good girl for staying in the yard. When we walked up the stairs, something caught my eye and I ran up two flights of stairs and down the road. BTW, your sister is out of shape and runs slow. She was out of breath by the time she caught me. Get that girl on a treadmill would ya?
Today, they left me here in that big giant cage you happily call a play yard. Just so we’re clear, it is not a yard, and there is nothing to play with inside it. In fact, it sucks, and I let everyone know by dragging it across the floor and changing the shape.
Anyway… while they went shopping and had themselves a merry little rendezvous at the park she left me and Linky soda here. I was good. I mean MAYBE your sister had something fun for me to do when she got back.
Boy was I right. She took me to the dog park with Linky Soda. Although… I really would rather be held, so I can spread mud on Heather’s jacket. I had so much fun and I even branched out a little and said hi to a few mutts. Not only was I adorable, but I was also irresistible. So many humans came to tell me how cute I was.
I was so happy Heather brought me to the park that when we got back to her place I shit on the floor in front of the door. My aim is so good that when she opened the door, the poop smeared all the way under the door and across the carpet. It was beautiful, like a painting. I think she liked it too because she had tears in her eyes and her face got all red when she was cleaning it up.
Later in the evening we settled in to watch the muppets. TJ is a pretty cool guy. He let me sleep in his lap for a long time. I was so happy about this that when he got up I went right in the kitchen and shit right on the floor. Tj came in and kicked it. Boy did it fly! He’s a pretty good kicker. He barely even smeared it at all.
So anyway… I’m pretty sure I have shit in every room of the house now. Well, except the bathroom… but seriously why would I shit in the bathroom?
See you soon,
Reagan
Hey Dad, It’s me Reagan.
I just wanted to thank you for leaving me with your sister for the holidays. I tried to let Linky Soda know who was top dog around here, but he doesn’t seem to mind in the slightest while I’m humping his head. So just to be sure he got the point, I pissed in the hallway.
Your sister doesn’t seem to understand that I am afraid of the dark. That’s why I shit on the floor the first night I was here.
The second night I was here, it was really fackin’ cold out and I couldn’t get to sleep because the ginger kid doesn’t sleep at night. So I tried to bite him, and then I shit on HIS floor.
This morning I didn’t even want to wake up. That baby thing is loud and smelly. He had the audacity to shit in his pants and then try to pet me. So I bit him.
On top of all that, Linky Soda is always stealing my toys, so you’d think they would have gotten me a new one for Christmas. But did they? NO. They didn’t. I got nothing. So… I shit on THEIR floor.
I’m having a wonderful time, I mean, it’s not like I haven’t been ditched, 2, 3, or 4 times before. It stings a little less each time. Happy Holidays. You prick.
So here is our puppy, Linky Soda. Isn’t he just the most cuddly, wubbly, smushy, huggy thing you’ve ever seen? He’s great. Linky Soda is everything you could ask for in a puppy. He sleeps a lot. He eats a lot. His vet bills are through the roof. He pees all over the damned kitchen, and he even poops. Puppies make you do things that you don’t want to do, like clean up dog poo and like… get puppies.
Linky Soda has been a joy. He has been a real conversation starter too! If I ever want to take the attention off people wondering about unschooling, I just mention my dog.
“So what do you guys do all day?”
“Did I mention I have a Puggle named Linky Soda?”
“Wait, what? What’s a Puggle? A dog? Oh. No really, what did you name it?”
See my point?
Anyway, I digress. Last week, Linky ate a toy. His bowels are now about 6 months old and still not ready to be pushing toys through quite yet. So, the um, “toy” (not exactly sure what it was) started kicking and screaming and decided to try and make its way out Linky Soda’s hiney hole. Nope. Not gonna happen. My precious dog, my beautiful little wonderful puppy, went HOWLING (and I mean howling – he is half Beagle) around the backyard trying to poop, (or suck it back in?) dragging his little Beagle ass all over the backyard. I opened the door to the kitchen and here comes Linky Soda, running into the house with a big giant honking turd hanging halfway out his butt. He’s running, howling, and jumping around in circles around my kitchen. The kids, (my own +1) are starting to freak out, so it’s off to the vet we go! I put Linky Soda in the back of the minivan and we all pile in and totally BOMBARD the vet!
Imagine: Me + dog + 9 year old boy + 8 year old boy + 2 year old boy all run into the vet at the same time. The boys are loud, the dog is whining, and I am laughing and smiling all the way. Something I do when the pressure mounts.
“Uh………Hello, how can we help you?”
“Well, Mrs. Veterinary technician. In case you haven’t overheard the children yelling about it, or in case you haven’t seen Linky’s backside lately, he has a big old poop stuck in his rear end. I think he ate something, inedible and we’d like someone to take it out.”
So, the story ends, Linky Soda has to stay at the vet for the day and down laxatives until he passes whatever the hell it is that he ate. Brings new meaning to when I call him a little pooper.
Linky wasn’t able to be neutered the following day as scheduled either. He was too dehydrated from all the laxatives. So… if you’re a female dog, you might wanna stay away, as Linky Soda has recently discovered his romantic side.
Here is sweet Linky Soda, now 15 pounds heavier than the other picture, in his dragon costume. I think he’s embarrassed.
This afternoon, we watched The Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill. We perched ourselves on the couch and chairs and shared a big bowl of popcorn. Usually Milo loses interest pretty quickly and retreats to tower building or crashing. Skylar and I immediately became captivated by the birds and by Mark Bittner. I’m not really a bird lover or bird watcher, but Mark’s story is heartwarming and enchanting.
Mark Bittner was born in 1951. After spending 4 months hitchhiking through Europe he landed in Berkeley, California where he worked as a street performer. After realizing that his musical dreams were about to go asunder he found himself in North Beach of San Francisco where he spent 15 years “studying “Eastern” religions and other subjects that interested him: history, Italian, guitar, and clarinet”. In 1988 he became the caretaker of a house on Telegraph Hill. After two years he spotted 4 parrots in the gardens. After 3 years, 4 became 26. And this is where his journey with the parrots begins.
The documentary begins with Mark feeding the parrots and chatting with passers-by who are either fascinated or somewhat disgruntled by him. He hand feeds the parrots and they all seem to trust him enough to do so. Throughout the documentary he maintains an intimate understanding of the birds and their personalities and activities. He often discusses the bird’s relationships, reproduction, and even deaths as if they were human. He has a rare view of these extraordinary creatures, and gets to know them in ways most ornithologists probably dream about.
As related to unschooling, Mark is being added to my “Ultimate Unschooler” list. After school, Mark found his own way, he learned what interested him, and he followed what delighted him. Not only did these things lead him to having an important place in this world as an advocate for these parrots, but he found his present wife, and is has now become interested in writing. He seems like a genuine person who is content with his life and where it has taken him. I love that.
I really suggest this movie for anyone interested in birds, in parrots, or in the human spirit. In the words of Skylar, this movie “makes my heart feel warm”.
This is our Hamster… Monster. She has managed to escape her cage 3 or 4 times now. Usually she hides in the spare bedroom closet. The last time she hid in the kids room. Skylar heard her playing with pennies in his room!
Today… was what we call a HAMSTERMERGENCY!
She has been slowly chewing away at a ventilation cap in one of her tubes. How cute and noisy. This morning Skylar went into the spare bedroom where she resides and found her STUCK! She was stuck halfway through the the ventilation cap! She couldn’t move forward or backward and was just sort of hanging there. He ran downstairs in a panic to get me.
I removed the tube from the habitat and place her and the tube on the bed, wondering what the heck to do. The pictures don’t look like much… but I assure you she was stuck! She kept crawling around the bed trying to get out of her new plastic corset! Sometimes she would stop and rest, and just lay her head down. Which makes me think maybe she is hurt.
The next thing I did was hold the tube in place and she if she could get a grip on the mattress and pull herself out. She pulled for about 10 minutes (no joke) while I tried to safely break the plastic. Eventually she did get free. The hole is not much bigger than a quarter. She is a very large Teddy Bear Hamster. I do not know how long she was there, or even how she managed to fit her head through that hole. I’ve checked on her a few times since her ordeal and she hasn’t really moved much. She is sleeping in the corner. But thats what hamsters do during the day anyway.
I complemented Skylar on how calm he remained during our Hamstermergency. He replied, “WHAT?!?!?!? I WAS NOT CALM! I was so scared. I WAS NOT CALM!” I assured him that even though he may have felt really scared on the inside, he in fact did remain calm and handled the situation very well. (I did read the look of pure terror on his face through out the situation.)
