I know it’s been awhile.  It’s a great summer so far and we’re keeping incredibly busy!  After a teensy little heat wave, if you call 94 hot, we’re back to more seasonable temps around here and loving every moment of this near perfect weather.

This morning it dawned on me that we had all created an Etsy account awhile back to showcase Skylar and Milo’s buttons but I had never promoted it for them!

Without further hesitation, I give you my young Untrepreneur’s Etsy Store.  We hope you find something you like.

If you would like to visit later, there is a linked gallery on the right side of my blog that will take you there.

Mwah!

Happy, happy birthday Phoenix.

Yes, we will be celebrating with cupcakes.

Happy Independence Day America!  I try not to say Happy 4th of July.  Sure, it *is* the fourth of July and all, but I think it takes away from the meaning of this holiday.  Not that I don’t love beer and barbecues, but we should all remember why this holiday exists in the first place.  Today we commemorate the adoption of the Declaration of Independence.  Therefore, declaring independence from the Kingdom of Great Britain.  How to best celebrate this great event?

With cupcakes of course.

Strawberry Cream Cheese Cupcakes

Ingredients:

• 2 cups rice flour (white or half white and half brown)
• ½ cup potato starch flour
• ¼ cup tapioca flour
• 2 cups sugar
• 1 tsp. baking powder
• ½ tsp. baking soda
• 1/8 tsp. salt
• ¾ tsp xanthan gum
• 6 tbspns cream cheese (softened)
• 14. oz strawberries (pureed)
• ½ cup butter (softened)
• 1 ½ tsp. vanilla
• 4 egg whites

Instructions:

1. In a large bowl combine rice flour, potato starch flour, tapioca flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, salt, and xanthan gum.
2. Add strawberry puree, cream cheese, butter, and vanilla.  Beat for 30 seconds.
3. Add egg whites.  Beat on high for 2 minutes.
4. Bake at 350 for 29 to 36 minutes.

Frosting:

• 1 lb cream cheese
• 2 sticks butter
• tsp. vanilla
• 4 cups confectioners sugar

1. Beat until smooth

This make A LOT of frosting.  You may be able to get away with cutting the recipe in half.  I just store the extra in the fridge.

Strawberries:

The berries are simply dipped in melted white chocolate than in colored sanding sugar or sugar crystals.

What do you do in your life that you really love?  This should be an easy answer, because you should be spending lots of time doing it.  I love playing music.  I love reading, and writing.  I love camping, food, beekeeping, drawing, traveling and MMA.

Does your job fall on this list?

I consult with Small Businesses about their technology needs.  I love it.  I love showing a business something that they didn’t realize was possible.  I love seeing the look of understanding after I’ve broken down something that was thought to be too complicated to approach.  I love it when I save a business a lot of time and money through adopting new technologies.    I love that every day provides me with new situations, new acquaintances, and new puzzles to figure out.  I love it when I can help save a business from disaster.

I have the best job ever, and I’m the best in the world at it, because I love it.

I was brought through a huge server room when I was about 11, and fell in love immediately.  At that age I didn’t say “Hey, this is what I want to do when I’m old enough to work” but I knew that this was the most exciting place that I had been in my 11 years!  No, seriously, I had left the house before.  I found a way to intern there when I was 15, and was hired as a part-time employee about 6 months later.  I had to be to work at 5:00am every Saturday morning and often worked until 5:00pm Saturday, but I didn’t care, I couldn’t get enough!

During my Junior and Senior years of high school, I had a better understanding of the school’s computer system than anybody at the school did.  They had a programming teacher who understood the basics, and they hired a consultant (who I would become friends with later in life, which made for some funny stories!) for the more complicated issues.

When the school would piss me off, I would break the network.

I would hear over the PA system: “can everybody please log out of the system now, thank you” and I would sit in my seat with my face in a book so nobody could see me tight-lipped and quivering with my face getting red at trying to contain my laughter.  “Take that!”

My programming teacher eventually caught on to what I was up to, though they never could actually catch me doing anything wrong.  I can remember the day I was called out of my English class to come out and talk to him in the hallway.  I walked into the hallway and he and the principle stood there, both looking down at me, and the principle said “Listen, we don’t know what you did, but we know you broke it.  How about you just make this easier for everybody, and fix it.”

I smiled, very genuinely, because in my head, I was looking at the principle and saying “How about you make my life easier and go fuck yourself.”  I didn’t though, I simply smiled and said “I’m not sure what you’re talking about, but let me see what I can do.”  I didn’t have a problem with our programming teacher, any more than I did some of my other teachers.  He would get mad because I didn’t pay attention in his class and wouldn’t put forth any more effort than what was required to get a passing grade, but he wasn’t a bad guy, so I fixed the problem.

The point I’m trying to make is that I did like my programming teacher, and I knew he just thought I was a pain in the ass and a screw up.  When I got my first paycheck, I brought that paystub into school with me to show him.  I was really proud.  Look at this!  I’m using my powers for the forces of good!  I’m helping people, and fixing problems, and…and…upgrading the Citrix cluster!

So I found him in the hall after school and said “Hey Mr. So-and-so, I’m working in the IT department at Company X now, I just got my first paycheck, I’ve got my own desk right in the middle of their server room and…” and as I was talking I was pulling out my paystub to show him, and he looked at me completely uninterested, for about as long as it took me to say that much, before giving me a “mm, great” and turned and walked away from me before I could even finish.

I stood there, deflating, with my paystub in my hand, and waited until he rounded the corner before muttering what I wanted to tell him to his face.  “Fuck you too.”

He told me in 10 seconds that he could give a crap if I was successful in my pursuits of a subject that HE WAS TEACHING ME!  I was a disobedient trouble maker who didn’t care about getting A’s and didn’t learn it in the method that he was teaching it.

Teachers are not the problem though.  There are some really awesome teachers out there (I’m looking at you Peterson!).  I would guess that most people choose this career path because they love the subject, they like working with children, or they want to make a difference in a public school system that gets worse every year.  I don’t believe it’s a system that can be helped, and I think compulsory schooling by its very nature must put obedience in front of actual learning and that this is what actually creates teachers like my old programming teacher.

This was what I thought about when we considered taking our oldest son out of public school in the 1^st grade.  Am I doing what I love today because of what I gained from school?  No.  I’m doing what I love today despite my schooling.  I had my family supporting me, but really, I was fortunate that the passion I had was for something that my family recognized as a profitable career.  If I had instead developed a passion for playing card games, or graffiti, I don’t know that I would have gotten the same support, and I might be doing something today that brings me no joy.

I want my children to do what they love and create their own personal definition of success and not live by somebody else’s.  My kids will always be supported in whatever their passions happen to be, and they will always have me as an example of doing what you love.

TJ Phillips is saving the earth several computers at a time.  He is also my husband and personal superhero.

I’m writing over at Enjoy Life Unschooling today. The title above is the actual title for the article. We seemed to have a little mix-up. Hopefully, it will be fixed soon. Otherwise, Enjoy Life is a fabulous resource for all things unschooling put together by my dear friend Faith.  I’ll be writing a monthly column.

I’m hoping to shift my blog back to a personal blog now that we are more settled and loving life here in Seattle.  But, I love writing!  So, if anyone would like anything written for their website or blog, you can contact me here.

Enjoy Life!

Sibling Issues: Why There Isn’t Always a Resolution for the Conflict

Real Bees

Real Cupcakes

The idea for these fabulous cupcakes came from the book What’s New, Cupcake?

Of course my cupcakes are gluten free. And for these cupcakes, I used a Gluten Free devil’s food recipe.

Gluten Free Devil’s Food Cupcake

Ingredients:

• 1 cup rice flour (white or brown is fine)
• 1/2 cup tapioca flour
• 1/2 potato starch flour
• 2 cups sugar
• 1/2 cup cocoa powder (unsweetened)
• 3/4 cup xanthan gum
• 1 1/2 tsp baking soda
• 1 tsp baking powder
• 1 1/2 cups milk
• 1/2 butter
• 1 tsp vanilla (I use my homemade bourbon vanilla for chocolate recipes)
• 2 eggs

Directions:

1. Combine dry ingredients.  Add milk, softened butter, and vanilla.  Beat for 60 seconds on low.
2. Add eggs.  Beat on high until smooth.
3. Pour into cupcake pan (or cake pan)
4. Bake at 350 degrees for 30-35 minutes

Yesterday was Inspection #4.  (I think)  TJ is enjoying his new hobby a lot; and who wouldn’t?  These bees are fascinating.  I haven’t had the pleasure of doing an inspection with him yet.  Partially because I am chicken and partially because I have no bee suit.  Yes, I realize that bee suits aren’t necessary.  However, I need one.  Period.

Supersedure Queen Cell Photo Credit: Garth Vest

We believe the Queen in this cell is meant to supersede the existing Queen.  We’ve read and been told that Queen Cells placed on the top and out of the regular path of the Queen are most like Supersedure Queen Cells.  Possibly our Queen is getting old and they are looking to replace her.  A few things could happen here.

• If the existing Queen messes with the cell, or with the new Queen, the other bees will terminate her.
• The colony will allow the existing Queen to stay until the new Queen gets up to speed in her egg laying
• I’ve read that some beekeepers have had two Queens in their hive until the old Queen dies.

Bee Chain Photo Credit: Garth Vest

This “bee chain” is to me, one of the most fascinating things that bees do.  The hang on each other leg to leg, or hold hands, and form a chain across the hive.

Close up of the bee chain. Photo Credit: Garth Vest

The Nova documentary, Tales From the Hive, says they are actually measuring.  This is also one of first things they do when a swarm finds a new home.

Skylar holding a frame of bees for the very first time.

This amazes me.  Not only do I think he is incredibly brave, but he’s been stung in the face a couple times when he was little.  Way to conquer your fears, Skylar!  Um…  that is if you have any fear at all.

Adding the Second Super

And then, there were two.  Inspections are about to get a little trickier.

Go to sleep right now.  It’s bedtime.  You are tired and I want you in bed.  If you can’t sleep then just lay there with your eyes closed and eventually you will fall asleep.  Not a word.  It is your bedtime.

I’m trying to think back to when Skylar was little and decide if this ever worked.  Skylar was always the type of kid to crash early, so I don’t remember bedtime being too big a struggle.  Except of course, on those days that he didn’t want to go to bed.    Milo used to cry a lot.  When everyone else was ready for bed, we’d try and rock him, he’d cry.  And cry.  And cry.  Why wouldn’t he sleep!?  A night owl right from the start.  I’ve never had any issues with Phoenix going to sleep or waking up.  Then again, I’ve never had any expectations surrounding his sleep.  He sleeps, when he is tired.

It isn’t really fair to expect someone to go to bed before they are tired.  I’ve witnessed children yelled at, stripped of toys, spanked and forced to lie awake in their rooms.  Let’s not forget the famous cry-it-out method.  Why choose so much anger, hostility, or frustration over bedtime when you can choose kindness and togetherness.  Is it any wonder that these children don’t like to go to sleep when they actually are tired?

Put them in a cage…  I mean crib

I have a quick thought on baby cribs.  This is not to take personally, but just something to think about.  Skylar started out in a crib some years ago.  At 7 months he hoisted himself out and onto the floor.  (Not kidding)  He never slept in the crib again.  He slept with me.  Milo had a crib and a room but rarely ever slept in his crib.  Instead he first slept with us, then we gave him a toddler bed in our room with a lot of pillows on the floor.  He rolled out once.  Phoenix has always slept with us.

Some people think cribs are for safety reasons.  Ensuring that the child can not, either fall out of bed, fall down stairs after waking up or just make it easier for the parent to keep track of the kid.  I tend to think there is a psychological effect as well.  Can you imagine waking up only to find that you’re in a cage?  That you cannot get up and play with the toys scattered about and that the only two ways of getting out is if you cry or jump to injury?  No wonder kids don’t like sleeping!

Cribs strip children of their freedom and autonomy.  I think that extra care needs to be taken when a child is sleeping to ensure their safety and our awareness of what they are doing and where they are.  Baby monitors, regular checks, and baby proofing the room are all ways to keep your child safe.  He doesn’t NEED to be in a cage…  errr crib.

*steps off soapbox*

Sleeping Disorders

“The worst thing in the world is to try to sleep and not to.  ~F. Scott Fitzgerald”

Sleeping disorders are on the rise.  According to a Cleveland Clinic an estimated 75% of Americans experience a sleeping disorder at least a few nights per week.  It would seem to me, that if people were allowed to sleep when they were tired, and wake when they were ready that most of these problems would not exist.  Let’s visit the two big sleep issues.

Circadian Rhythm Disorder – (from Wikipedia) a family of sleep disorders affecting, among other things, the timing of sleep. People with circadian rhythm sleep disorders are unable to sleep and wake at the times required for normal work, school, and social needs. They are generally able to get enough sleep if allowed to sleep and wake at the times dictated by their body clocks. Unless they have another sleep disorder, their sleep is of normal quality. OK, according to the description, this is not a disorder at all.  This is a symptom of society.  If your body is fighting against something unnatural and external, how can this be a disorder?  For those of you who experience this problem, and try and keep regular hours, I wonder if keeping irregular hours would make the problem go away.  This reminds me of ADHD.  Both disorders go away with a lifestyle change.  Interesting.

Insomnia – (from Wikipedia) Insomnia is described as having difficulty falling asleep and/or staying asleep.  In all the causes on Wikipedia, most seem to be caused from external sources, (sensitivities, drugs, medications).  They even site Circadian Rhythm Disorder as a cause.  Bringing me back to the idea that children should sleep when they are tired, and their circadian rhythms should not be disrupted.  Without, actually saying the words, it IS recognized that forcing children to bed before they are ready IS a cause of insomnia.

A childhood of sleep routines and being forced to wake is a damn good way of causing a sleep disorder.  We all know the problems that coincide with sleep deprivation, but forcing someone to bed does not force someone to get adequate sleep.  For a complete list click here.

Creating a Sleepy Atmosphere

I’m sure there are a lot of questions at this point.

• So what happens when a child wants to stay up past an adult’s threshold?
• What happens when everyone else is sleeping and the child is up and it’s important that dad (or the breadwinner) gets his rest in preparation for work?
• What about when my child stays up past his limit and becomes cranky and agitated?

There are a lot of things we can do to create a calm and sleepy atmosphere.  When it gets to be late, turning the volume down on the television and turning lights in the house down low are some ideas.  Ready stories and doing calm activities are some others.  Cuddle in bed.  Be creative.  These don’t always work, especially when someone needs the volume up louder, but give them a shot.

Milo is our night owl.  He very often stays up extremely late and then sleeps in late in the morning.  He sleeps on his own rhythm, an important factor in his development.  We have done many things for him to accommodate his needs and to also meet our needs.  We have often given him a space in our darkened room to:

• Read with a reading light
• Draw or color with a flashlight
• Play with toys under a blanket with a flashlight
• Play Nintendo DS
• Play computer games on the laptop
• Watch a movie on the laptop

It worked for him.  It still works for him.  He enjoys these same activities up in his top bunk now.  He doesn’t care to roam about a dark house alone so it’s a better option to be in his room with his brother.  Sometimes, he really wants to stay up longer with someone so we can negotiate how long we are willing to stay up with him, reading, playing a game, or just cuddling.  Since we respect the kids needs and go the extra mile to accommodate them, they are willing to be respectful of each other and the rest of us when they are sleeping in the same room.  Occasionally they will get giggly and loud, and a gentle reminder is all they need to quiet down.  Skylar sleeps in Milo’s room since the dog prefers it.  Milo really enjoys having Skylar there, and knows that if he isn’t quiet then Skylar has the option of sleeping somewhere else.

Night time is not a free for all.  In general, people sleep at night.  Neighbors, siblings, and the working parent should all be taken into account.  It isn’t fair to say, “we unschool” and have children running wild throughout the house when people are sleeping.  Most of the time, they are happy to help us meet in the middle somewhere.  However, there aren’t any expectations here.  We work hard to make sure their needs are met, and they are so accommodating for us in return.  It’s common sense, we treat them as we want to be treated.  We sometimes hear them remind each other to keep their voices down while playing video games.  We also give them the same respect if and when they sleep in.  Sleep is important and we treat it that way.

“There is no hope for a civilization which starts each day to the sound of an alarm clock.  ~Author Unknown”

Children Know When They Are Tired

I hate it when I hear adults telling their children when they are tired and using that as some sort of leverage to get them in bed.  Phoenix is going to be 2 next month.  We have never had any expectations surrounding his sleep.  He sleeps when he is tired.  He wakes when he has had enough sleep or maybe when he is thirsty or hungry.  We recognize and respect his needs as a human being.  Many times, he crawls into our arms and says “ni-night” when he is ready to sleep.  He knows what it means to be tired and when his body has had enough.  That is more than most adults can say, even myself sometimes.  Forcing him to bed before he is ready, is not worth the lasting negative effects.

It’s taken Skylar and Milo much longer to respond to their bodies when they are tired.  They had bedtimes and miserable experiences set by me when they were younger.  While Skylar seems to have moved past it, Milo is just now starting to show a healthier sleep pattern.  I say healthier by *his* standards not mine.  He is now recognizing when he is tired and finding the things he needs to have or do for a restful night sometimes without our help.

“A wise man eats when he is hungry and sleeps when he is tired.” unknown proverb

A few people have been asking about my cupcakes lately, so I thought I would post my basic cake recipe.  I prefer to bake gluten free and as many people know gluten free cookies and cakes often don’t measure up to their gluten-full counterparts.  No worries here.  My gluten free baked goods have been surprising skeptical gluten eaters for years!

This cake is heavier than a traditional vanilla cake.  Gluten free cakes don’t rise very much, so for cupcakes I’m able to fill them a little more than 3/4 high.

Ingredients:

• 2 cups white rice flour
• 1/2 cup potato starch flour (potato flour can also be used, but cake will be heavier)
• 1/4 tapioca flour
• 1/4 cup buttermilk powder (optional – but oh so good!)
• 2 cups of sugar
• 1 tsp. baking powder
• 1/2 tsp. baking soda
• 1/8 tsp. salt
• 1 tsp. xanthan gum
• 1 1/3 cup water
• 1/2 cup softened butter
• 1 1/2 tsp. vanilla
• 4 egg whites

1.  In a large bowl mix evenly together all dry ingredients.

2.  Add water, butter, and vanilla.  Beat on low speed until smooth.

3.  Add egg whites and beat on high for 2-3 minutes. Until blended through and smooth.

4.  Bake at 350 degrees for 30-35 minutes.

Milo loves baking and decorating.  This has been great fun for us for a few years now.  Just because we eat gluten free doens’t mean we can’t have cool cakes and cupcakes!  Here’s some fun variations that begin with the basic cupcake recipe:

Frogs!

1. Each cupcake will need green frosting, red frosting, 2 chocolate chips and 1 marshmallow
2. Cut the marshmallow in half and using some green frosting stick each half to one side of the cupcake.
3. Frost the whole cupcake green leaving the whites of the eyes.
4. Pipe on the red mouth.  (I use ziploc bags)
5. Stick 1 chocolate chip to each marshmallow.

Monsters!

1. You will need green apple jelly rings, peach jelly rings, mini-M&M’s, and Dum Dum lollipops. a recipe of blue frosting and green frosting.
2. You will also need mini-cupcakes in the same # as cupcakes.
3. “glue” the mini cupcakes on the top of the regular cupcakes using some frosting.
4. Using a ziploc bag I piped on the stringy frosting with no rhyme or reason.
5. The Dum Dum pops are inserted into the jelly rings to make eyes and stuck inside the cupcake and the M&M’s are the noses.
6. We also came up with our own variations.  This particular idea came from the book we picked up at Costco, “What’s New, Cupcake?”

x=y(1000/z)

Off the top of your head, what is the value of X if:  y=7.5  and  z=3

“How will my child ever learn how to do Algebra like this?  You’re telling me he’s just going to learn this on his own, while having fun?  No friggin way!  How will my child learn this when I don’t know how to do it, I suck at math!”

You already know how.  You do it every single day and you probably don’t even realize it.   This is considered Elementary Algebra, and it’s as advanced as most students get in High School.  Some people really jump on math, and are doing Calculus in their senior year of High School, but they are the exceptions to the rule.  I like numbers, I’ve always found them to be fun, so I did well with Math in school.  I’m drawn to projects and games that involve working with numbers.  I work in a field where it is necessary to be good with numbers, and I love it.  Do you know how often I need to remember Pythagorean Theorem?  Never.

The preservation of knowledge is important.  Preserving all of mankind’s knowledge inside my child’s brain isn’t important, nor will it ever fit, no matter how it’s crammed in.  If my child decides he wants to be a Physicist, it will be because he loves Physics, and he will pursue it with a passion that will put him ahead of others in that field.

I have to convert numbers between binary and decimal from time to time.  I do it all day long in my head though because I find it to be so much fun that I actually wear a watch that tells time in binary.  I know, sorry ladies, I’m taken.

I’m not trying to make a point here about passion led learning though.  People talk about how much they suck at math.  I’ve even heard this as an excuse for continuing to force your children to go to public school:   “I suck at math, I could never teach that to my kids!” If you suck at math, and you went to school, how is school-taught mathematics going to be different for your child?

I think what people fail to see is that they actually are good with numbers, even algebra, they just don’t realize it.  They use it all day, every day, and fail to see it because they have been taught that Math is just something that they don’t get.  They look at the above formula and go blank.  These types of formulas are what people think of when they think about doing math, and that really is looking at numbers all wrong.

Stop thinking about Mathematics, and try to keep in the mindset that it’s just numbers.  Using the above formula is a method for teaching people how to use numbers.  For some people that formula makes a lot of sense.  For other people it looks like complete gibberish, although that formula represents something that they probably do all the time and don’t realize it.  If this is you, then you have probably taught yourself algebra from things you do in the real world, and it has happened so naturally that you didn’t even see it happen.  It’s not that you are bad at math, it’s that the method in which Elementary Algebra was taught to you is not a method that works for you.

I used the above formula for a reason.  It’s a formula that my 11 year old son has done in his head since he was probably 9, and he has no idea that he’s doing Algebra.

x=y(1000/z)

This is what happens when my son is playing Runescape, and needs another 1,000gp to buy something in the game.  He needs to collect items in the game that he can then sell at the Grand Exchange.  The value of items fluctuate from day to day, so while one day it might be most profitable to mine coal, the next day it might be better to gather Big Bones.  He understands how much time it takes to gather different items, so with just a few minutes of looking at the current rates, he knows what he’s going to go and gather.

That’s it.  He just did the above formula in his head.  He doesn’t know that formula, but it doesn’t actually matter. Ever.

X=time in minutes it will take to accrue 1000gp

z=value of item

y=minutes it takes to gather z

Obviously, I like numbers.  I didn’t learn about binary or hexadecimal, or even Cryptography in High School, I learned it on my own because I love numbers.  I sucked at art class.  I didn’t do art the way we were supposed to do art in our classroom.  I still don’t understand how to match colors.  I used to draw this guy with a mohawk who would always be giving somebody the finger.  It was my sneaky way of giving my art teacher the finger.  I have only recently come to realize that I like to draw, and it has taken my 11 year old son years to convince me that I don’t suck at art.  Turns out, I don’t!  I’m not Frank Frazetta or Alex Ross, but I’m not Bruce Schneier either, and that doesn’t stop me from noticing that it’s now 1100:100100 and I’m late for lunch!

TJ Phillips is the unschooling dad of Skylar 11, Milo 5, and Phoenix 2.  He likes caffeine, beekeeping, and has a complete formula for buying groceries, at which stores, and for the cheapest amount of money: all saved in his head.  He also happens to be my husband and soul mate.